Im 32 years old and have very litte going in my life currently. Unemployed, overweight, limited education (high school diploma). Never knew my parents was raised in foster care. Spent 18 to 30 just on auto pilot. Couch surfing, doing dead end jobs or gigs here and there. Pushed all of my friends away but a small handful who pity me.
At 30 i finally decided to get off the streets and stop mooching off of the few friends i had left. Got into a shelter, they helped me get a room and government assistance. Then anxiety made me basically waste another 2 years in my place doom scrolling and playing video games.
A few days ago i decided i had enough. Video games and my phone couldnt fill the void anymore. I went to a nearby hospital and spoke with a a social worker who helped me set up therapy and my first doctors appointment in years. Sold my console and turned my phone on, enrolled into a gym.
My question is, what steps could i take to not fall into another long term anxiety slump? How do i find what im good at to make a decent living?
Sorry for the long, emotionally charged post.
5 comments
Go for a walk in nature, every single day, no matter the weather. Be it at 5am, or 11pm, just do it, for 30-60 minutes. The more trees around you the better.
Don’t ever finish a day without it.
Get a job. Get a job. Get a job. Any job will do. You need money and you need responsibility. Set up a routine and stick with it. However mundane it might be. Keep to your therapy lessons. You will unpack things you didn’t know you had or haven’t thought about in years. Keep up your gym routine. Start giving a damn about your appearance and how people perceive you. You don’t have to be rich to look presentable. And finally, fake it till you make it. Most of us are full of insecurities. Don’t take them out on other people.
What kind of government benefits did you get that allowed to you to sit at home all day and play video games? Not trying to be a prick. Just don’t understand how an able-bodied 32 year old is eligible for free money and benefits indefinitely.
Pick up hobby. Ideally something social (see: meetup.com). Volunteer. Find a way to be social and meet new people in the real world that isn’t a bar. Men, women, straight, gay, bi, old young… doesn’t matter. You can worry about dating after you’ve done more therapy just try to make some new friends.
Get a job. Look into free and low cost career training, and places that will train you on the job like an apprentice or journeyman. If you’re not getting paid to train get at least a part time job.
Figure out what you can do to invest in retirement, even if it’s only squirreling away $5 a month it’s a start.
Baby steps is a good plan. Take every day at a time, and remember that not every day will be a good one, some days will just suck ass. That’s OK, keep going. What do you enjoy? Do some of that. Do what you can. When you find something you’re good at – drawing, talking to people, computers, music, whatever – do some research on how to make that an earner, knowledge is power. And pursue it. Set realistic goals, like “do an online course that teaches me more about X” rather than “score the dream job”. Keep going. Progress can be slow and that’s OK, it is still progress. Be kind to yourself and accept the fact you’re not perfect; nobody is.