I have just had a pregnancy scare (My period started a few hours ago) and that has made me realiza that, tough I want to be a mom, I don't want to pass my genes on.
I was terrified of being pregnant and the baby being a girl because I live in a country where almost every woman is very beautiful, and where I'm considered abnormally ugly. I have suffered greatly for it and even now people keeps on reminding me that I am a freak.
I mean, I am not bullied anymore, but there are signs. If I'm pass a group of teens, it's very likely they will start making puking sounds. My co workers wait until I leave the Christmas Party to take photos. Nosejob is mentioned very often if I'm present, etc. I don't want my kid to go through that. Our society is just not compatible with a face like mine.
The panic I have felt this days have made me realize that I still want to be a mom, but not to a baby that has my defective genetic. How do I tell my fiancé that I want us to adopt or to use an egg donor?
TLDR: I want to tell my fiancé that I don't want to pass on my genes because they would produce an abnormally ugly child and I don't know how.
3 comments
Girl, go see a therapist. This is not a healthy self image to have
Maybe don’t say it like that, because it’s hella cringe. You don’t have to have children and you don’t need to justify it to anyone.
If your partner is set on wanting children, then they will be disappointed no matter what you say. Not a single time in the history of child wanting did someone who really wanted a child listen to some arguments and go, “Oh okay, that makes sense. Let’s not have children then.”
Just tell your partner you don’t want children and see where it leads. Be prepared for separation.
I don’t think you see the irony in holding the very same belief system that actively discriminates against you.
You are vain. Beauty isn’t what matters and certainly not others flawed perception of it.
You think your life would magically be BETTER if you are prettier? Ha, no.
Men would harrass you more and your fiance would worry more about that.
How about a taste of different perspective, as a man who is somewhat attractive in the face, guys hate me. They all want to compete with me. Even worse being smart too. Society is ill with schaudenfraud. I just want to happily live my life instead of watching people constantly project and jealously dream of what they would do if they were pretty.
It’s the most asinine thing in the world to hold a value system that doesn’t favor you.
And if you really want the truth, there’s no guarantee a donor egg would be attractive and no guarantee your egg would be ugly. Thats the beauty of genetics.