I (36m) have a high libido but am almost completely uninterested in masturbation. I hear people refer to masturbation as solo sex and self-love, and I just don't get it at all. It doesn't feel that great, the orgasms are like 1/5 as good as what I have with a partner, I find it hard to stay in the moment and concentrate on sexy things (which is not a problem I have during partnered sex at all), and I notice that my erection quality is not very good during masturbation (in stark contrast to partnered sex — more than one woman has told me that I get and stay harder than they're used to from previous partners), which makes me feel a little bad.
I just don't like it, but I want to like it. It wasn't like this when I was younger, and while it makes sense that my sexual drives would wane as I age, they haven't decreased for anything except masturbation — if anything, I have a higher libido than I did ten years ago.
I also feel like I need to learn to like jerking off. My gf is in an extremely busy part of her medical training and is often too tired for sex, and we'd both love for me to have an outlet when she needs to crash as soon as she gets home (not to mention something to do with all the hot photos she's sent me). I read stories here and elsewhere on reddit about men masturbating to their partner and I feel like we would both find it hot if I wanted to do that. But every time I find myself aroused when she's not available I just…can't be bothered, because I know that touching myself won't feel all that great and it just seems like a whole lot of trouble for little reward. How can I stop feeling that way about it?