A situation made me feel insecure about my masculinity today. My girlfriend and I were at a mall and there was a section with some IKEA furniture or home decor, I'm not sure. We were checking the sink out, touching and feeling the material and my girlfriend was seeing how the tap feels. An employee walks up to us and goes "what are you doing" in a hostile manner.
I'm pretty confused at first as we're not doing anything wrong. I reply saying we're just checking the sink out in a relatively calm but confident manner. He says "this is just for display" again, in a hostile manner. I reply saying we're not breaking anything, don't worry aa he was slowly walking away, giving us a judgemental look.
There was no sign that said do not touch or anything of that sort that would indicate that. We left soon after and agreed he was being an asshole for no reason.
As we left I felt like I should've said or done something differently where I act more assertive and confrontational towards the employee.
It's just something that's been on my mind. How should I have handled this situation? Would you have done the same or something different?
13 comments
I would’ve probably felt a little guilty, said “Well…this was awkward” and then yeah probably talk smack about his approach on the way back. So…same reaction lol.
This would of been one of the interactions that it would of come out before I even processed the words “The fuck does it look like I’m doing”
I’d have just laughed, to be honest. Nothing bothers noddys like that more than not being taken seriously.
I’d have said aye alright, pal, don’t shite yourself and go on with my day.
I don’t think it’s ever worth being confrontational to rude employees. He’s probably been on his feet 9 hours and is probably the one who has to wipe down the fingerprints on the display cases. He was definitely a jerk but unless he threatened you or your gf I don’t think a masculine display was warranted in this case and probably would have made your gf uncomfortable. The only time you really need to be assertive is when people are outright threatening or cross your boundaries, general rudeness doesn’t require confrontation and it’s best to just walk away.
The event is nothing, you can’t control people being bitchy. The reaction…..is a bit of a worry. Sometimes things can be a good opportunity to do some tough homework about your childhood environment, and emotional habits. People can be rude to you, but that shouldn’t make you fight or flight or feel diminished in value.(never gonna feel great though)
You met a rude employee. It is what it is, I wouldn’t waste any further thought on it
I know exactly what you mean. If you are easy going and not naturally aggressive you will get bluffed by jackasses. It could also be that you are a bit sensitive.
I would laugh and giggle at the guy then redirect him with a question like what is the difference between touch, no touch displays. Who why when how. He would have annoyed me as well and I would spend a moment doing the same to him. Hopefully later making him say to himself why could I not keep my fucking mouth shut.
Smile, forget about it and move on.
I promise you that some things in life are really not worth giving a shit about 🙂
You did fine. No need to escalate an already obviously unhappy soul. You were in no position to teach him anything at that moment. No letting them spread their darkness was the best thing you could have done.
>”what are you doing” in a hostile manner.
“Testing it out. Is that a problem?”
>”this is just for display” again, in a hostile manner.
“Okay. And?” Or if you were feeling particularly daring: “wow thanks for letting me know, I was just about to take a dump in that toilet over there”
It’s Ikea. You see people testing out mattresses, couches, touching stuff all the time. I think it’s stupid for them to get uppity about the most pedantic shit. You handled it fine. But if it really bothered you that much, calmly stand your ground and ask questions- “is this a problem?”, “is there a no-touch policy that applies exclusively to sinks?”
Because for all you know maybe some dumb kid broke the sink a couple days ago messing around with it, or something like that, and this employee just doesn’t wanna explain to their manager why shit keeps breaking. Or perhaps they’re just an asshole being rude. who knows.
Minimum wage worker’s probably just doing his job and doesn’t really care
Pay it no mind. It’s a big nothing-burger
Understand you did nothing then find him and ask for every display “is this a display “ then touch the last one