TW: possible SA?
Last night I (22F) spent the night with an old friend (21F) and it was just us hanging out and listening to music. Everything was fine up until we turned off the lights when we decided to go to sleep. I passed out pretty quickly, but she stayed up for a bit later and told me she couldn’t sleep.
Just for reference, we aren’t dating and are not romantically involved. This is the first time hanging out and talking in months.
I woke up to her masturbating and the whole bed shaking. Her cat was meowing, and she would move in intervals and it went on for a while. I remember she had her hand up my shirt and then rubbing my thigh. She was standing over me at one point, and I could hear her breathing heavy as she touched herself.
I remember a lot of it, and I don’t know what to do because I was pretending to be asleep the whole time. She never actually had sex with me, but I think she wanted to. Does this count as SA? What do I do?
TLDR: woke up to friend touching herself and touching me, not sure how to proceed with the friendship
14 comments
This is definitely SA, getting groped while alseep while other person is masterbating, if it was a guy jacking off while feeling you up you’d have probably already called the police.
Yeah no that’s not okay. I would stop being her friend…
I’m so sorry but she sexually assaulted you She’s not a friend
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It totally was assault. Take care of yourself and do what you have to do. Sending love
I’m sorry you had to go through that. you were definitely assaulted.
Yikes. You need to tell her what she did was unacceptable, how it made you feel, and that you will be distancing yourself. If you don’t tell her she may believe she got away with it. A simple text would be sufficient.
I’ve been in a similar situation and it took me way longer to say something, and I wish I had nipped it in the bud sooner. Otherwise you are placing the onus on yourself to cope with no resolution and it will hurt longer.
As a lesbian, yes that is SA. it’s a violation of your privacy and you were sleeping so you weren’t able to consent. This person isn’t your friend and it’s displaying predatory behavior.
Lol, that might be the most fake story of the week
(Check other op style of writting on profile, its silly)
What the hell did I just read
Im sorry this happened to you, and yes SA. This is far past touching without consent. Its up to you whether to go to the police and i support any route you take. But no, i wouldnt consider this person s friend any longer.
you must be feeling disturbed. I think you should not consider her as a friend. Confront her and inform her that you feel assaulted. she had not right to do that to you. the fact you are all women should nto be an excuse to overlook the act. she deserves some punishment.
Yo, it absolutely is sexual assault. Ask yourself if this was a man, or a stranger, or literally anyone else, you’d say that was assault?
Like any one of those things is SA, so together it’s absolutely SA.
This person might not be bad intentioned, but they are absolutely dangerous and a bad person.
You can *try* talking to them about it, or you can go to the police(granted, they probably won’t do anything because cops kind of suck if it’s not rape-kitable), or you can do what I personally recommend which is run the fuck away, and lowkey tell people if she ever comes up in a convo.
Yes, it’s definitely SA!! I won’t tell you to report it because sometimes that can be a nightmare, but in an ideal world, you should be able to report it to authorities. Definitely never hang out with this woman again and definitely warn mutual friends. Also, if possible for you, seek support or counseling! I’m so sorry that this happened to you
Yes that is SA and you should really refrain from spending any nights at her place ever again. Personally if I’d had a friend that did that, I’d not be friends with them anymore. Not only is it SA, but it’s also a huge breach of trust and respect of your personal bubble. I’d be sure to let other friends (friends that you share) know too before you cut contact/confront her. She’ll probably try to spin some story where she’s the victim and you’re the creep if you confront her first without having told anybody else in your mutual friend circle about it.