I (19F) met this guy (20M) online over a month ago, we really hit it off. We were both new to the online scene and honestly pretty hesitant about it and had swore before we would never use it previously. After talking for a bit he initiated the conversation of getting off of the app which excited me. I go to school a hour or two from where he lives so it seemed like things would work out and it wouldn't be too much of a distance if we were to start something. He seemed very emotionally mature and in touch as well as attentive which is something i'm not really used to. We talked every day all day and would FaceTime daily. We seemed to be on the same page with wanting something more. We have an almost identical dating history and were not in for situationships or anything of that sort, we wanted commitment.
He surprised me with a hotel to come and stay with him on my way back to school for 2 nights and 3 days, we went on a really nice (expensive) dinner date and spent so much time together. We were both nervous wrecks, we have our issues with anxiety both diagnosed so things would come in shifts of being more comfortable and then more anxious at times. He constantly apologized for his anxiety and feeling overwhelmed which I understood because I felt the same way. During this visit we did it a few times which inherently bonded me closer to him, i'm not one to hook up or do anything outside of a relationship so this was new to me. He made it very clear he was embarrassed about his performance.
The night before I left we had a big conversation about the anxious feelings but overall really liking each other and making sure we worked at it and would always try. The day that I left when we said goodbye I was emotional but didn't let it show much, after we checked out we spent some time together, we got food and he dropped me off while telling me that we were good and he really enjoyed his time even though he was anxious. He gave me a hug that felt like neither of us wanted to let go.
We texted the whole day and then at the end of the day he texted me saying that he was “sorry and took things too fast and needed some space to process everything that happened”. I'm not sure how to feel about this message! I don't want to make things about me especially if he's had a good track record and did so many things to make me feel like he liked me and wanted more. So many thoughtful gestures, time, and money invested on his behalf. To me it feels like a mental health problem and his anxiety may have gotten the best of him but i'm left torn up because i've gotten so emotionally invested in him and like him more than I have liked anyone in a very long time.
Just needing a little guidance and perspective and wondering what response I should anticipate from him! (He had mentioned before us meeting irl that he gets overwhelmed and burn out easily and that that requires space for him to rationalize I just don't want to be naive about our situation)
TL;DR, Feeling so confused about how to proceed in wanting a relationship. What does space mean? – Seeking more gentle advice