I'm 6 months in this new relationship with a younger man – he's 23 and I am 29. I grew up in lower class and moved to an unknown city when I was 18 and since then I did the struggle on my own. He's still living at home and doesn't know what it is like to have no money or to be hungry.
I have to get along with 350 bucks a month and because he's still living at home, we almost solely meet in my flat.
I tried to manage my spendings so I am able to feet two mouths but told him three times that he got to pay for his parts as I am barely able to feet myself. But he doesn't and is making up excuses and when taking something to-go he doesn't want to spend money on me. Shouldn't matter, but he sleeps like almost half the month at my place and eats for free.
Sharing is a big value of mine. I'll give the shirt off my back. I'd rather be less satisfied than greedy. But when it comes to food or paying for it, he clearly is a greedy person.
He rather wants to eat the pasta that needs to last for the next six days for me than spending some money for me too on food, because he doesn't "have much money left this month." I'm living off of nothing and he got some 100 bucks left for the week and doesn't even have to buy groceries or even work for his money.
I know that I just have to talk about it with him again. But I hate asking others for money and in my view, inviting your guests at home for dinner should be taken for granted. But I simply can't handle this anymore and this stresses me out every months' ends.
I'd be really grateful for getting some help here on how to address this problem and how to show one who never had to financially take care of himself or even others that food doesn't grow in the refrigerator and that in a relationship, one should provide for one another.
I just want to dump my insecurities on this topic before I have the talk again. I feel like I'm regressing when it comes to asking for (help with) money and drift in a less mature state.
Maybe there's even one on here that considered himself as a selfish person who changed and could provide me with some insight?
I'm less seeking for relationship advice. But rather how to teach someone something about money and value and how to do it upright and not out of neediness.