Boyfriend and I have been in an argument since yesterday and I can’t take it anymore. We’ve moved in for about 2 years now and dated for 5 years. In our time we’ve had our fair share of arguments but what stands out the most is how he sometimes ignores, aka gives me silence treatment when mad. I have let him know MULTIPLE times that I hate it because of childhood trauma and can’t bare someone ignoring me for hours. He says he does it in order to not say things he might regret later. I have worked on myself a lot to avoid arguing and having stay long periods without him talking to me.
Yesterday’s argument was one of the dumbest ones we’ve had:
– Bf: I’m hungry (after he ate lunch)
– Me: well make something then or let’s just order something
– Bf: Nah… we’ve ordered a lot lately (referring to $$)
– Me: well you don’t gotta worry about it since I’m the one paying for it
– Him: starts to get mad
So at this point I start to think he’s joking and try to understand why he’s taking what I said badly. I try to understand and even apologize and let him know that there’s no malice behind me saying that, he has also been financially helpful to me a lot. Long story short, I end up saying (jokingly I swear) I don’t understand why his man pride is not letting him accept me ordering food again. He explodes and tells me not to talk to him, mentions my miserable words and is visibly angry.
Ever since yesterday afternoon we’ve been ignoring each other. I have stopped making food for two, and focusing on myself. Today I had a very important medical appointment and weren’t in the house for a whole day and when I came back I saw he bought store bought food so he can make food for himself and didn’t even ask me how it went.
I have to admit that the more this treatment happens, the less I’m willing to appeal and cry to him. I know myself and my anger and I know I will blow up as time goes on. He is currently living as if I’m not here, playing video games and such. I know he can go on for longer without talking and this feels like a punishment, I have attachment issues.
I don’t know what to do, I want to book an airbnb and stay there for a week, I have also seen people say to enjoy the silence and not give in but I don’t know if I can keep taking it. I’m wondering wether I should I just ignore him back or move out temporarily and cut contact, thus making him worried and realizing what he is doing to me.
Please help.