I (18F) and my friend (18F) of one year have been dancing around the idea of a relationship ever since we met. I admittedly entertained it at first because I genuinely though we could be together, but after a year she has expressed multiple times that she would never date me (she’s religious and won’t act on her sexuality). I understood completely, but that didn’t stop our friends from pushing us to be together.
This wouldn’t be a problem in my opinion if she didn’t act like we were in a relationship. She’s both extremely jealous and possessive of me because of her attachment issues. Everytime I mention having new friends or going to college she gets upset and shuts down. She joked that she would have to talk to my future college roommate and “keep an eye on us”. When I asked her why she looked at me like I was stupid, like we were in some kind of exclusive relationship.
She gives me a lot of gifts, excessive amounts, and always pays for my stuff. I made it clear I don’t expect this out of her, but she says she just likes buying me stuff. The problem is she gets extremely upset when I don’t reciprocate this excessive showering of gifts, only to jump into “I don’t expect that of you” after she cries and gets upset.
I enjoy having her as a friend, and she’s been nothing but loyal to me, but it feels weird when she constant mentions how she left her other friends for me. (Whole other story, our friend group had a major falling out).
Another thing, she begs me to tell her everything about myself, but then gets weirdly critical when I do and pokes fun at my interests (they’re admittedly niche and weird and I do fall on the spectrum). A few nights ago she said something along the lines of “I don’t know why I worry about you making friends and leaving me behind in college, no one will put up with how weird you are like I do.” I don’t think she meant it that way— but it felt weird.
How do I move forward from this? I don’t want to talk to her and tell her to stop acting like we’re together and her get upset. I do care about here.
TLDR: by friend acts like we’re in an exclusive relationship and we’re not, how do I navigate this?