I have had the same general theme of fantasy most of my sexually-active life. It's nothing usual or unrealistic – infact, quite vanilla by most people's standards – effectively just peforming fellatio.
The issue is, when I have tried performing it in the past, it did nothing for me.
I'm not asexual – I desire and enjoy sex. But I am fixated on fellatio and in all my fantasies, it's the most exciting thing I can imagine. So why, in real life, is it completely boring and not exciting at all?
I can't pair the two – having an almost fetish-level desire to perform fellatio (it's my go-to, every time I imagine sex, fantasy) but enacting it in real life is a non-event.
And yet, having the experience of it being not exciting, the fantasy remains as strongly sexually exciting to me as ever.
Of course, I understand fantasy and reality are usually very far apart – I'm not expecting life-altering events when I do it, but nothing? It's akin to fantasisng about sex in general, and then not finding it at all exciting when you have sex.
Is there some kind of psychological explanation for why this might be?