TLDR: 30M partner won't clean up after himself or work with me, and I'm fed up.
I feel so silly for this, but it's consuming all my waking thoughts. My partner (30M) and I (29F) have been together 1.5 years, lived together for one year, and have been great friends going on 13 years. I love him (loved?) but I'm fed up. I've been told I have a high standard of cleanliness (which I don't think is too awful) but he is a slob by any standard. Dirty dishes and half eaten food food left on his desk for days, empty soda cans and dirty utensils under his desk, clothes EVERYWHERE on the floor, I feel like I have to hike just to get past the pile into our closet (which he doesn't even use bc his shit is all over the floor). Leaves perfectly good food out overnight, often leading to wasting dairy products. He is also god awful at cleaning up after himself. I've tried talking to him, telling him it's not fair that he hoards all the dishes on his desk, it's not fair that I have to either clean up after him or live in this filth. I've given him a big trash can and laundry hamper by his desk to at least keep things off the floor, but he stopped using it after a couple of weeks. I don't know what else to do. This morning I realized that he must not respect me, and does not give a shit about living like this. This is a basic life skill, and if he doesn't have it down by 30, he's not going to. Conversations aren't working , meeting him in the middle isn't working, what else is there? On top of this, we work opposite schedules, so I hardly see him or get quality time with him. We have sex maybe once every few months. I'm just not seeing what I'm getting out of this relationship anymore.