Ive been with my wife for close to 25yrs now, we have kids and have had a stable household all this time. Our sex life has been average I guess. She is a great mom and wife overall. 3 years ago I started noticing my wife's eyes seem to wonder. At first I questioned myself about what I thought I was seeing and sought more examples. Since then I have confirmed multiple times my suspicion. I didn't know how to approach the conversation for fear it would change our relationship but also could not accept this. Told her it was really disrespectful and hurtful. My wife has gaslighted me with this topic, blames my insecurities. Have had this conversation multiple times with same outcome. I honestly dont know if this has been the case since day 1 in our relationship but i feel like i would've noticed earlier. She has lost some weight in the last 3 years and i told her she may feel more confident and better about herself and not sure if that fuels this. I also suggested maybe she isnt satisfied anymore. She 100% says this is not the case. She says sex is not everything in a relationship. She tries to hide her looking by squinting or when taking a sip of wine, or when i see sunglasses go on and there migth not be any sun around. I see her looking at crotches. Mostly strangers but have also caught her at family events. We agreed for the sake of our relationship that she should seek professional help which she has for past 6months. It hasn't improved and in recent discussions on same topic, she has hinted that therapist says I maybe the problem, possibly narcissistic. This through me off, I had to google as I didn't know what this was and while I may have some traits, I also think we all do. She asked that I go to consueling as well.
What advice can you give here?