Hello.
I have a question on how to proceed on certain encounters with some types of emotional conflict. I'm generally avoidant of conflict and verbally open to communication towards resolving issues. It's given me a great sense of compassion and understanding, that has helped me greatly in many situations. But, as we all know, not everyone can or even seeks to put an end to emotional conflicts peacefully. Here:
- How to handle people that act immaturely and then project the very same behavior on to you? People that victimize themselves, and want to paint you as the villain?
It's a social situation that I have struggled with greatly. I've always tried to communicate openly with these types of people, and pointing out their behavior, but to no avail. They are dead set on painting you as what they themselves are. Others, just accuse you for the sake of it and stick to it. I've accepted that it's a lost cause, but I do not know how to disengage properly, since I get dragged to their senseless discussion. The few times I've disengaged, they pile on more accusations, and I then yield often.
- How to handle jealous people?
I have, so far in my life, only encountered two jealous people, but the difficulty (at least to me) of handling them was so prevalent that it warrants asking. Toxicity was present in them. So much so that, naturally, I slowly distanced myself from them. They noticed how I related to others more positively and proceeded to act aggresively, wondering "why?" (repeatedly, even when I explained it to them. Usually, they asked around other people, on purpose). Pointing out that it was because of their incessant negativity is useless, I learned rather quickly. They'll drag you to a pointless accusation/gaslighting game and never self-reflect. I cut one of them out long ago and it was amazing for my social mental wellbeing (socializing with them was a constant ride of stupid ups and downs). I was able to because that person left the area, and cut contact online. The other one, I can't really avoid, since it's a family member.
- How to handle pushy, curiously-insensitive people?
I generally share info about me, but there are times that I don't want to do so with certain people. Often, they get offended and continue pushing me. I get irritated easily about this, and I need to work on this.
I've come to terms that I need to learn boundaries related to these topics and actually stick to them, but I don't know how, exactly. Any advice is greatly appreciated!