my boyfriend (M/23) told me (F/21) about his first love, am i being dramatic for how i feel after what he’s said? are my feelings valid?

my boyfriend is in rehab and before he left he said for me to not wait on him. he worries that i will move on/ lose feelings for him. he has been sabotaging himself by wanting me to hate him because he thinks i deserve better. 2 days ago he wanted me to know what “right person, wrong time” actually meant because he seen i labeled one of my playlists that. he asked if i wanted to see his phone and that there’s things that would hurt me if i went through his phone. he kept saying “do you want to know who i really want?” i finally asked and he pulled up a screenshot of an old message from his first love. he told me the story of how they broke up and he moved away, whenever he moved back she would want to see him. he was trying to let her go but she was making it hard by contacting him. he met a new girl and things were going great but his first love messaged him and all of those feelings came back to him, she waited for him. she texted him one final time to try to get back with him but he rejected her, he met up with her at a starbucks to have a proper goodbye. she wanted to still be friends but he didn’t want that, the message he showed me was her saying that in another life she hopes they will be together. he said “i’ll always love you” which is something he has said to me whenever we almost broke up. he told me that he loves deeply and that he’s not in love with his exes but he still loves them. in the past he has brought up his recent ex, i did ask him questions about her but most of the time he would talk about her or the other girls in his past to compare our relationship. whenever he talked about his recent ex in the past he said he wouldn’t get over her, that it’s not something he can do. i don’t feel special at all and i know all of this happened in the past but am i being dramatic? are these feelings valid to have after knowing about the things he has said? i already felt like i had to compete with his recent ex but now with his first love, he said he’s never loved anyone so passionately before till he met me. i guess that makes me feel better but it doesn’t make me forget about what he said. i can’t talk to him till he’s out of rehab so im left wondering if he does actually want her still or if he said that to hurt me.