Hi all,
Hope you all are good! I (m30) need a little clarity on the situation I’m in with my girlfriend (f25). Any input is very appreciated and thank you in advance!
A little breif backstory. We met about 6 years ago through working together and quickly became friends and even quicker became attached. After becoming closer she did open up to me just a little bit about past trauma she has experienced, that being some child neglect and awful parents, but never really let it bother her in the beginning. As time went on she became a little more lazy and a lot more aggressive to the effect of physical confrontations even if the problem at hand was minor to most people. After 3 years or so we did end up separating for awhile and that was hard losing a best friend but I believed that was best for both. In that time I experienced different relationships mostly just short ones because I never felt that deep care I’ve felt with her.
Fast forward to last summer we ended up talking again and just like before moving quickly to becoming partners. For the first two months she showed a lot of improvement from before, no more aggressive behaviour and took good care of herself. However as the months have gone on she has completely let go. Her room is constantly filled with refuse and not cleaned unless I do it for her which I regularly do, her weight has become a little out of control (not that this bothers me) but it plummets her self confidence. She has told me that she wouldn’t be her if it wasn’t for me in her life, which was incredibly hard to hear. Over these last few months I’ve tried to setup appointments with different professionals and even went to therapy myself to see what else I could do to help her regain her life and move forward with me but she just won’t try. I’ve supported her with money, groceries, rent and other needs and normally that doesn’t bother me either however I’m seeing no progress from her when she says she’s looking for work or to even seek help.
I just feel like I’ve tried my hardest to help her and be patient with her and hold her hand through this patch in her life but with her neglect of wanting to change for herself and her future I just feel lost and broken. I really do love her with all my heart but I just don’t know what else to do. I’ve done everything I can to help but nothing stuck. I just wonder if it’s beyond me to do anymore and move on with my life and try to find a partner to start a family or stick this out and hope it gets better in the future.
I’m not the greatest writer or the best at grammar but I’ll answer any questions you have. Thanks for reading!
TLDR; should I hold out for my gf to work on herself or try to move on.