Hey folks.
I'm a bit upset over the way a disagreement with my girlfriend went today and I'm looking for a little outside perspective.
So first of all, she is South American, but has been living in the US for two years. I'm American, have been living in the US for 28 of 30 years. We met at a bar we were both working second jobs at six months ago and hit it off.
Overall, we have gotten along well for the time we've been together. We've had a couple minor disagreements, nothing big, and we've never raised voices at each other or anything.
But today we got in a pretty serious argument. Her home country's soccer team is playing in an America's cup game not far from where we are. Like any good South American, she *really* loves her soccer team and of course wants very much to go see them. She asked me if I wanted to go, and initially I was on-board.
But today I started looking at all the costs involved and I had to decide I just can't swing it right now. Once we account for gas, parking, tickets, etc, we'd be looking in the ballpark of $250. It may not be a huge amount as far as soccer is concerned, but I am preparing to move cities (funnily enough, to the bigger city where the game is) in a couple months and every dollar counts right now.
I knew she would be disappointed, so as an alternative I checked in with the local "Thinks its a British Soccer Pub" bar and verified they will be showing the game there, and I was going to buy a couple jerseys of her team to wear together, so we could still enjoy the game together at a much cheaper price point.
I talked to her today and basically said that I was very sorry, but I just could not afford to go to this game.
She got pretty upset. I do want to be fair to her and mention she offered to pay half of all expenses, but she's been having some money issues of her own lately and I didn't really want to ride along with her spending a bunch of cash either. So I just told her firmly that I cannot go and she was pretty upset.
All of that I kind of expected, but what really made me angry was when she said something to the effect of that I was keeping her from something important to her. I responded that she is of course free to go wherever she wants, but she'll need to find her own way there. She answered back saying "Oh so I'll just go alone as a woman to a strange city where I could get stabbed or robbed? Are you stupid?"
Those last three words are what really pissed me off. I understand there are some cultural differences at play here, and maybe I'm taking them to harshly, but I really did not respond well to being called stupid. I wound up just not mentioning the alternative plans I was going to offer, and told her I was done with the conversation and left for home.
She texted me afterwards and did say she was sorry for calling me stupid, but she felt like I was not seeing her perspective as a young woman who would be afraid to go there by herself. I told her I probably didn't consider that perspective and I am sorry for that, but I also know plenty of young women in our town who travel by themselves to that bigger city where the game is for all kinds of sporting events or concerts, and there is no reason to call me stupid for suggesting it.
She said she was sorry again and invited me to come back for Argentina-Chile tonight, but I told her I'm not sure I will be in the mood. To be honest, I'm still kind of mad and wondering if I should be reconsidering this relationship. I can tolerate arguments, but personal insults is a line in the sand.
Am I making too big of a deal over her statement? Am I being too stubborn about going to the game?
**TL;DR**: Girlfriend is upset I can't go with her to a soccer game and asked "Are you stupid?" I'm pretty angry about it. Am I overreacting?