What type of touching is too much on a first date and what’s perfectly fine?

25 comments

1. The person you are going on a date with. Do you know them? Are you guys friends or are you just finding a random person on a dating app? Also are they female or male?

2. I usually don’t touch anyone on the first date unless i get the green light to 100% proceed. Need to be careful with that, but its different if you know them beforehand.

3. I think hand holding and hugs are fine. Anything more than that is risky

4. There no perfect answer….You…. gotta…. feel it out. Harr harr

5. If it feels awkward to initiate a touch, don’t touch. Touching is a skill, and the better you are at understanding when and how to touch, then the more you can touch.

   With that said, hello and goodbye hugs are safe. Shoulder touches are generally safe, but don’t force it.

6. Ive made out with most first dates and slept with many of them as well.

   What’s important is to set YOUR OWN boundaries.

   In my humble experiences, there isn’t much of “too much” if the vibes and interest is there. That being said there’s DEFINITELY a “not enough” to mention.

7. Don’t ask to make physical contact, that’s awkward .Get a feel for it. If she pulls away don’t try it again until later. On my first date with my ex, we went for a walk and I would occasionally lean in slightly, just enough for our arms, shoulders and hands to touch briefly. By the time we got to where we were going, we were already holding hands or she would hold my arm. I remember driving with her in the rain last Fall, she’d take off her seat belt so she could lean her head on my shoulder. She was special, I won’t ever forget my time with her.

8. So like people create all these rules around dating. 
   And then they break them anyways because of chemistry. Look for chemistry and long-term love, nothing else matters

9. It’s different for each person.

10. Differ as per situation, a handshake or hug is nice for first.
    About kisses, depending upon how many dates the partner is comfortable with you. So wait till you win her trust, could be first or 10th.

11. Either not touching, hand holding, or maybe a hug at the end of the night. Anything else seems kinda creepy or weird

12. I dont even try unless i get very clear signals. Just a huge awkward risk that i dont care to take.

13. Shaking hands and hugs are the only things fine on a first date. Even holding hands might be too much if its just a first date and you don’t really know the person. If you’ve known them, it might be okay. But anything more than that is just….nope

14. Get a feel first of how things are going. If it’s going well, at most hold their hand. Thats where I would stop on a first date

15. I (24 M) just got done on a first date. Take it easy and play it by ear. Hugged at the start (which is very universal, and dare I say highly encouraged.) talked for a few hours at the first bar, and then came to her side of the table at the next patio bar that we went to. Arm over her while we’re chatting, and then walked her home and made out for 5 minutes. Physical contact while making out but nothing extravagant. You just need to feel it out, as tough as that is to hear. Don’t be too greedy, but don’t be a “best friend” either, unless that’s what you want with her.

16. where are you from?……

17. This is dumb

    It ranges from hot crazy sex to a smile…

    It is up to the two of you. The only rules are to be safe and make sure you are both on board.

18. I had a guy hold my hand on a first date while watching a movie at the movie theater. As a grown ass woman in my 40s. This creeped me the eff out and he was crossed off the list immediately.

    Don’t hold hands on first date! That’s at least a 2nd or 3rd date activity once you’ve established your interest.

19. My first “date” was an AH he decided to keep on pushing me and making me feel bad because i wasnt reacting how he wanted so he got mad at me.Touching is such a intimate thing for me and i want a date to understand that he shouldnt push me into wanting to join in.

20. I’ve had first dates where a light touch on the leg was the most contact we had and then first dates where her legs were lying over mine within the first hour. Don’t force it, read her vibe. If she breaks the touch barrier first you’re doing well. Or else a light touch on the shoulder or lower thigh after you’ve said something cheeky/funny can get her to feel more comfortable.

21. If you’re the guy, I’d say play it safe, and let her touch you. At most, I’d touch her arm or maybe do a high-five. If you have serious rapport and you can tell it’s going somewhere, you can try the small of her back, but I’d only do that if you’ve danced together and have a lot of rapport first. I wouldn’t even worry about touching her, to be honest. If she likes you, she’ll find excuses to touch you. Just ask her lots of questions about herself and be yourself. You’ll be fine!

22. There is no universal stuff for this.
    I have been to a first date where I tested waters with a banter, we pingpong naughty banters and we did it on the first date.

    I’ve been with someone who flinch at even a slight skin touch.

    It all boils down to how comfortable you both are.

23. Don’t go for tickling.

24. There’s no universal answer. You need to communicate and get to know the individual’s comfort level

25. It’s a vibe you’ve got to ride. In my experience it varies. I’ve had sex on the first date, and I’ve only lightly brushed arms while sitting beside them on the first date. Chemistry matters a lot. I like the idea of titrating and restraining contact but in practice there might be a different vibe that leads to more.

    Pay attention to body language and signals. Give respect. If unsure, ask. If awkward, don’t.