31F.
I’ve always considered myself very high libido, and in all my previous relationships there was always a lot of sex involved.
Same to be said for my husband, especially in the first few years. If it’s relevant, the only difference was that I didn’t initially feel that sexual attraction to him and he wasn’t my normal ‘type’. But I can say it didn’t take long at all to develop and when we started being intimate there were zero issues from that front, I was very much attracted to him from that point.
Sex continued frequently (most days apart from a couple of weeks after our first kid), until I got pregnant for a second time. I feel like I just didn’t have that same drive and it lessened a bit, so we started to go a bit longer between having sex. Obviously immediately after two kids my drive plummeted a bit because it was a LOT….. but it just hasn’t really come back.
Now something has happened where I’ve started to feel quite awkward having sex with my husband. I don’t have much of a drive anymore and the thought of it actually makes me uncomfortable.
We do still have sex but a lot less frequently – and while it’s physically enjoyable for me, the intimacy isn’t there. I don’t want to spend a lot of time kissing at all and find giving him a blowjob almost awkward whereas giving blowjobs was my top turn on before. I just don’t have those sexual feelings so it’s almost like trying to be intimate with a stranger which makes no sense.
I almost feel like I’m not attracted to him anymore? He hasn’t changed physically and we haven’t really had any major issues (apart from the usual issues of disparity in childcare and mental load…)
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I went to my GP to get my hormones checked and everything was normal. My youngest is now 2 and my libido for my husband doesn’t seem to have any signs of coming back. I still feel awkward and unsexy during sex and am not a fan of his physical affection.
My libido in general is still there and I masturbate and fantasise most days.
It kind of sucks because I used to love sex and I don’t know what’s wrong with me?? Help!