forever a sad single pringle

nothing keeps working out and i am.. sad, to say the least. i wish i didnt want a relationship so bad. i wish self love was enough. i wish community love was enough. i wish i didnt feel this desire to give all my love to someone and create a life with them. i wish i was apathetic towards romance. im exhausted. i want to make it past the talking stages. i want to be pursued as the subject, not an object. i wish ghosting didnt happen. i wish love wasnt so scary. im done with dating. im going back to my cave of isolation 💔