As the title says I can’t cum with a condom ,I (25m) am in a relationship with the love of my life my gf (24f) of 3 years and our sex life is great for the most part. I do have a marginally higher sex drive and more kinks but we are slowly getting there and I love and appreciate that she is trying new things that she is comfortable with I am very lucky to have a understanding partner but this one thing has been bugging me. With previous experiences I’ve had condom sex no problem in fact I even told a previous partner “no condom no sex” but with her I have this nagging desire at this point obsession with having sex with her without a condom and finishing inside her ,it’s gotten to the point that I have dreams of it and I am bewildered by the fact that it has become so much of a hindering factor in our sex lives.
Over the course of our relationship I’ve grown more and more in love with her and believe that she is the person I was meant to meet,I’d need a whole post to tell how I feel about her but because of this love for her my desire is growing more and more. Researched it and it’s seems I have a breeding kink first time discovering that about myself so we in cooperated some aspects of this in or sex life and it works sometimes but not all the time .
We had thought that it was just the feel of it so I masturbate less,tried different condoms from skin fit to invisible and different brands but some work only for a short time but that was half the problem cause I just hate condoms in general now . I just started focusing on her pleasure and what she wants getting much better at foreplay, making love to her mind and focusing on her which leads to her orgasming more and I get some satisfaction from that but this is a problem cause she wants me to feel good too and she feels that I am not satisfied with her which is wrong I want her so badly that I don’t want a condom to separate us cause I can’t feel her the same and it bothers me .A few times I couldn’t orgasm and she feels very self conscious and it causes some fights.
We have discussed this on and off as we are both scared of pregnancy and are childfree. I will never tell her to take birth control for my own pleasure (read the bloody scroll of side effects fuck that ) .If there was a contraption for men that wasn’t just condoms like a pill id do them in a heartbeat. honestly I’ve truly considered and may get a vasectomy ( I don’t believe it’s reversible and a good contraceptive option for men so before anyone gives me that ) I don’t wholeheartedly feel happy about it but at this point I’m losing my mind I am considering it more and more . As of now my only solution is that we have do everything but penetration with where pleasure in mind and only do it when I know I can cum with it on (which isn’t a lot of the time) she is not happy but accepts it but I want to get over this so that she doesn’t have to begrudgingly accept something,what do I do ?