Hi there,
I'm in a tricky situation. My girlfriend [F35] and I [M28] are facing some issues regarding bringing our relationship to the next level—especially the topic of children, which is the main problem for me.
As you might have already realized, I am around six years younger than my girlfriend. We have been together for 2.5 years. The way our relationship started was already an adventure. Neither of us expected to end up together, but time told us differently.
My background is that I was traveling the world a lot. I'm originally German, but in the last eight years, I've barely been to Germany, only visiting some friends, my parents, and my brother. Besides this, I have lived in many different countries and had a lot of freedom. I am very grateful for my life so far; I have basically achieved all my goals and dreams, and everything from now on is just an addition to all the wonderful experiences I've had.
My girlfriend is Ukrainian and very different from me. While I would describe myself as very extroverted, she is more of a "homegirl" (which I love). I met her when I was living in Kyiv for a while before the war started. She was visiting home because, at that time, she lived and worked in Dubai. After she returned to Dubai, we kept in touch. I visited her for two weeks and then continued my journey around the world. We always stayed in close contact, chatting, talking on the phone, etc. She visited me here and there, and we always had an awesome time.
We reached the point where things evolved to the point that we both fell in love with each other and decided to live together in Spain. I'm not even sure if all the details are so important because it comes down to the point that she would love to have kids soon, and she basically wants me to agree to the schedule of marrying and having kids within the next 2-3 years.
I love her, but with my young age and free mind, I haven't even unlocked the thoughts of having kids soon. I know that I want them, but I cannot say when I would be ready. Given her age, that's not acceptable for her; she needs more security, which I understand, but I don't feel like I can give that to her right now.
I could lie and agree to whatever just to calm her down, but I'm not an a-hole, and I love her too much to risk being between her and her biggest dream. Also, I feel like if I agree to the schedule and don't make it, being ready to take those steps and also having the financial backup to afford it, I would have to face the consequences of being the reason she might never have kids.
She keeps saying that if I really loved her, I would make everything work.
I'm not the best storyteller, but maybe one of you guys has been in the same situation and can share some thoughts?