I 30f need help figuring out how to connect with my husband 31m. (We have been together 10years).
TL;DR All he wants to do is play his game with his friends or zone into the TV but I need quality time.
The games he likes are not the games that appeal to me. When I have tried to play he's just throwing different directions at me and it's overwhelming. Yes we talked about it.
We have two daughters 5 & 2. Before kids I didn't mind just laying beside him doing my own thing. But at this point like most of the time after work is spent handling the responsibilities. Which I do the most of, but he is participative so don't get that wrong.
I want us to spend actual quality time together, but the very moment he is able he's jumping on the game or zoning into a show. He either doesn't respond to me attempting conversation (bids), or sighs & pauses or rewinds what he's watching, or just gives me the minimum.
We just had a great few weeks, but then over the weekend we had another conversation about how it feels like he doesn't even like me. (Plus some old stuff that got brought but we talked about – don't need to go into that).
Just now after he finished showering the 5yr old he said "I'm getting on the game with the guys" I was just like "okay" he asked what I was doing and I said since the little ones are playing I was going to come out there with him. He had no response to that & is now happily on the game.
I want him to choose to focus on me, I want him to be interested in conversation with me, I want him to maybe even ask what my favorite song is right now. I've literally suggested couple connecting activities, I even got uno cards for us but he didn't want to play. It took the 5yr old finding the cards and begging to play for him to play that.
I just don't know. Other than anything involving the TV or sex what do couples do with each other?
Edit: I guess I should specify here, we do stuff with the kids all the time. I'm looking specifically for in the house things for just husband & I after the kids go to bed