What was the most painful thing you lost in your divorce?

47 comments

1. my wife. I loved her, but she was a cheating bitch

2. 50% of the time around my children.

3. Objects?

   Aside from the metric shit ton of money she absconded with the most spiteful thing was stealing my gun collection after she was told not to dispose of property. She only missed four.

   Still worth it.

4. My hope

5. My kids. FUCK YOU SHARRON YOU TOOK EVERYTHING

   (I am a single 21 year old man who has never been married I just wanted to say this line)

6. Just my home and money.

   Gained a lot more in the long run, not meaning material stuff.

7. My dog

8. I was stationed in England in the USAF I picked out a set of china, the wife didn’t even look at them. It was Rosewood Porcelain Co with 24cr gold trim 12pc settings including teapot and holders.
   Took me years to pay it off- the main thing she took from me!

9. Her grandma had 280 acres, and I’m a hunter.

10. It all hurts. Even if it’s “fair” both people loose 50% of everything (family, money, stuff, etc). Basically feels like you were robbed completely blind by a person you once loved. The worst part is that your ex other feels the same way. No wonder some many divorces are ugly

11. Confidence in my own decisions. A divorce makes you question everything you know because the person you trusted and believed in the most was a complete lie. It’s the ultimate gaslighting. Took me many years to recover from that

12. Myself

    I put on a ton of weight from depression/sadness that was caused from being in a miserable relationship that nearly destroyed me.

    The “pain” came from two years of insane mental and physical rebirth in the gym, my eating habits, quitting alcohol for good and turning myself into the best version I have ever been.

    Lost 73 pounds and hit my goal weight.

    The only part i still suffer from now is a lingering distrust of the opposite sexes motivations. So, i tend to avoid them – but they sure seem interested in me, now that i am in amazing shape and have my confidence/self worth back.

    I will never cosplay as an ATM for women ever again. I have everything they want now, but they need to seriously bring something to the table that enhances my life.

    I don’t need another expensive entitled pet who needs an entertainment director to lavish excitement on their lives

13. My perception of my ex.

14. Nothing for me. It was entirely and immediately a better life.

15. – The home I grew up in.
    – About 1/4 of my posessions that I didn’t have room for.
    – Daily access to my child.
    – Almost my life.

16. Time

17. The name my ex and I had picked for a daughter if we had one. Her and the man she got pregnant by gave THEIR daughter that very name.

    That hurt.

    Kiddo is super cute, btw. None of the drama is her fault.

    Still, felt like a slap to the face

18. Not in the order of importance

    – My house that I sold to purchase our martial home.

    – The 48k down payment I put on the purchase of the new home. (She had no money to contribute at the time)

    – My belief in serious relationships. (Her behavior towards me a month after getting married was the straw that broke the camel’s back.)

    – Having to give her the house for a dollar so that we could get divorced. (The house was too upside down to be sold at the time.)

    That was over a decade ago and I’ve fully recovered financially and emotionally.

    I now have my own home, I’ve been single since the divorce and my life is pretty darn good.

19. My kid growing up in a unbroken home. I wanted that for her SO BAD, but it wasn’t meant to be.

20. My dog,
    I miss that bastard,

21. 50% of the time with my kid. Half of my assets. A shot at an early retirement. My ability to trust women fully (she was cheat). My self-confidence.

22. It wasn’t losing anything, it was gaining the knowledge of how lost I’d been for a massive part of that relationship, realising how much time I’d wasted trying to hold a long dead relationship together. I suppose the loss was the possible future I thought we had, and the realisation that much of my life was a lie I told myself.
    That’s a pretty tough pill to swallow.

23. Having a cheap mortgage and then going back renting

24. The dog 😭

25. My trust in other people and confidence in myself.

26. She left when my son was 4 without a conversation. Moved In with another guy. Left him with me and all was good. Boom judge gave her 50/50 after a year of her not being present. So I’d say my son. Losing 50% of his childhood because someone else made a decision is beyond hard to comprehend and deal with.

27. One of my sons. The oldest knows the truth, the younger got taken to the dark side. It’s been 18 years since we even shook hands.

28. My dog.

29. My best friend

30. My sanity.

31. $200, we split the $400 filing fee.

32. Me as that person in that relationship and all.the friends and family that went with it. Now that is all gone. Those friends aren’t the same to me anymore. Her family is just awkward towards me. I liked her and her friend ecosystem. Now it’s not there anymore. They were more worth it than she was. That’s sad but true.

33. The vast majority of my social circle. The idea that the end of our marriage caused our daughters to avoid marriage and having kids. I think my divorce and the things that lead up to our divorce cost me the possibility of grandkids.

34. Trust in other human beings. It was also a huge lesson, and I learned the hard way how delusional we are sometimes in a relationship. I was ready to die and do everything for her, and this was a mistake.

35. my time in general. marrying my ex was a waste of time. it happens when you have been together for a while, and they cheat on you. your memories of them become tainted of them, and you wish you never wasted your time with them. Also money because that bitch never kept a job and I was forced to pay alimony.

36. Waking up to make my child breakfast and lunch or dinner. Being more than a weekend dad

37. 18 years of my life.

38. My wife. I had a prenup, and I’m fairly wealthy, so the money didn’t bother me. But losing my person and best friend sure did.

39. We split all assets which I expected but the 150k of my 401 hurt in the long run.

40. I had just about finished renovating our house to the way she wanted it after 18 months of hard work, I realised I was going to be pushed out once done.. That wasn’t a hard hit as I expected due to the blood sweat and tears. I lost 2 beautiful kids gradually as their thoughts were poisoned. I sold everything I owned to try and win them back through family court. They started telling a “truth” that was fed to them at the end of the trial and didn’t want any contact. Haven’t spoken to my 13 & 10yo in over 6 months. Because of my ex, every beautiful caring trustworthy woman ahead of her is measured to a higher standard and I hate that the most.

41. My grandfather had passed down a 1965 fender stratocaster (guitar) to me that i lost. At that point I realized being married to an attorney really sucked 😕

42. My ability to trust again.

    And not simply women, who are obviously individuals, but my ability to trust myself.

    If I could be so wrong about her for so long, then I clearly am the idiot and cannot be trusted.

    So, I am alone, and comforted by the things I still enjoy.

    And while the betrayal and grief are terrible, I do admit that my day to day life is FAR more peaceful.

    I hadn’t ever lived without a woman in the home, and if I had before I was married I very much doubt I would have gotten married.

    Life is simpler, and better, without a woman in it.

43. Speaking on behalf of what my father went through, he became so depressed that a doctor told him he would damage his brain permanently if he didn’t start taking anti depressants. Even when he was on anti depressants he couldn’t eat, and lost so much weight multiple people in the family thought he had cancer. So he almost lost his brain, sanity and physical health, which imo is worse than death.

44. Being with my son every day and missing out on those small every day nuances and interactions. Will always break my heart that our time together will forever be in these prebooked slots.

45. Time

46. Lesson learned from this thread: Never get married

47. Not for the faint of heart, lost everything except two bags of clothes. I was married to a lawyer who came from a law family and simply got whipped by the most evil cruella de vil playbook and false narratives you couldn’t dream off. 4 years later I haven’t spoken to her or the kids or anyone involved in the pure evil, cold hearted narcissist nightmare.