Those who deliberately sleep in different rooms/houses to their partner(s), why and how is it working out?

15 comments

1. Because he snores and I can’t sleep otherwise. Its going great, I’m well rested.

2. My grandparents do this. My grandpa snores like craaaazy. Grandma can’t stand it. Not sure when it started but they’ve been together for over 30 years.

   I have this funny childhood memory when I was visiting them of waking up in the middle of the night to get some water. He was knocked out on the couch, snoring away with his mouth wide open…and a geico lizard thing briefly crawled in there. He woke up super frazzled and went to the guest room to sleep.

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4. I work overnights. We have opposite sleep schedules more than half the week.

5. My mom and dad have been happily married since 1978.

   About ten years ago my mom sat us all down and said she and my dad were going into separate bedrooms. She assured me that their marriage is just fine, but she needs a good night’s sleep for the first time in 30 years (he snores).

   My sister and her husband tried co-sleeping for a week. He snores. She thrashes. They’ve always had separate bedrooms.

   I’ve been with my partner for over 7 years. We do not live together. We do overnights sometimes.

   Every relationship is different, physical wants and needs are different. Just communicate. There’s no wrong way.

   Edit: and it’s working out great in all three scenarios!

6. Snoring were the biggest issue

7. We both snore and both absolutely love having our own bedrooms and bathrooms. Freedom to wake up or sleep whenever you want, on our phones as early or late as we want, taking a #2 without worrying about anything, and visits to each other to stay intimate. It’s the best part of my marriage.

8. We are separated and waiting on financial settlement to finally divorce

9. Also snoring. I would wake between 10-15 times each night. Earplugs stopped working when I started awaking to the bed vibrating. I was constantly cranky and resentful. Separate bedrooms was the best decision ever. Huge bonus pro is that we can also choose to sleep and wake whenever without waking the other. I don’t think there should be any stigma, especially if it improves your relationship.

10. I snore and he is a light sleeper. We are far more chilled out and rested by sleeping separately. It has only been a good thing.

11. I don’t sleep all that well due to pain in my hip (due to have surgery soon) and other health issues. We have been sleeping in separate rooms for a year now. Whilst I’m not a fan of it, I put up with it. Hopefully, a few months after surgery, then I can sleep in the same bed as my husband.

12. Together for 14 years and separate houses but on the same street

    I need my own space to decompress and im a god awful sleeper plus have disabilities and im autistic, so him getting up for work would keep me up and cause a lack of sleep and therefor more pain, even with separate bedrooms

    My own decorations, my space being 100% how i want it and not having to consider what he wants in my house

    He is a terrible cleaner and i cant do it physically so for my own house i have a housekeeper provider by the city, his house well its not up to snuff and would be piss me of if i had to live there and having to wait on him to clean, cuz city wont provide cleaner if there is a partner (understandably so)

    I just dont want to share a house with anyone

    There are no cons in my opinion, we live 200 meters apart, we see eachother every day and i dont want to choke the life out of him (or any other guy i would be in a relationship with)

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14. We have our own rooms and our own bathrooms. I work nights and he works evenings, so we’d be disrupting each other if we were in the same room. Plus he sleeps better without the pets in the room/bed, and I prefer them in the room with me.

    Also I’ve never gotten used to someone sleeping in the bed with me so when he does I keep worrying I’m bothering him by rolling over, etc, and I feel like I can’t relax as well as when I have the bed to myself.

15. He stays up playing video games and I got tired of waiting for him to come to bed for hours. If it’s just my own bed, my own room, i can close the door and fall asleep at my own whim, not anticipating him to disturb me at some point.

    We share our big bed most of the time but I absolutely love having my own room with my little daybed. It’s cozy and cute. It feels great to now sometimes be independent and not like I’m obligated to function as part of a unit all the time, which is easy to fall into when you live with someone.