Hi Everyone,
I’m a 30 year old Hispanic male that lives in the dfw area. I have been divorced for 2 years and I think I’m ready to get back into the dating world. The problem is I have not dated in 10 years.
The dating world has changed so much and it’s kinda scary from the stories I see and how people are nowadays. Looking for advice on how to get back into.
I work two jobs (70 hours a week) but I’m willing to cut that down to go on dates and meet people. No kids, have a house, and a good career. The second job is to keep me busy.
4 comments
Don’t care
I’m back in the game after 20 years and having a pretty good time out here!
Lurk on the subs for the various OLD platforms here, especially paying attention to the profile review posts. You’ll learn a lot. If you have any female friends, let them help you with your profiles. Here are some things that I (a F30s) would suggest:
Photos: for the love of god, don’t use any that you obviously cropped your ex out of, no pics with fish, no bathroom selfies. Have someone take some photos of you if you don’t have any clear, flattering current ones.
Bio: tell us about yourself. Not general BS like “I like music”. Give me some specifics so I can talk to you about something. I skip over so many profiles because there is nothing for me to start a conversation about.
Chatting: please ask questions back. I will make a effort but when it’s constantly me asking about you, I get bored quickly. Also, please know conversations just die all the time. It’s probably not personal.
Know what you want or what you think you want (casual means open to sex and meeting once and awhile for a real date. Hookup means sex only. LTR (long term relationship means wanting a partner for the long haul).
When you create an online profile (if you decide to do online dating), have recent pictures of yourself that are flattering but realistic. People want to see you and a glimpse into what you do everyday so pictures with a beloved pet or pics of you on a fun vacation are pretty common. Have a friend or two review your profile and tell you what sounds good and what needs to be replaced. When you write your bio, be direct and somewhat short. Put a hobby or interest you have, maybe your occupation, and an interesting fact about you. Really, things you think could help start a conversation when someone matches with you.
Not everyone you swipe on will work out, don’t take it personal sometimes that’s just how it is. Be friendly and a little flirty, but remember you’re both strangers and starting a conversation may be a little awkward at first. You might get matches but end up getting ghosted (no replies for no clear reason). You might go on a date or two and it doesn’t continue, it’s part of online dating sadly. Just be proud you’re getting out of your comfort zone and trying.
When you match with someone, talk over the app for a few hours and if the conversation is still strong, ask to exchange numbers. Get to know someone for a few days and ask for a date. First dates need to be light so dinner is nice, but sometimes getting coffee, grabbing a quick lunch, or bowling, etc. sometimes dates that last several hours can be a lot of pressure.
I started dating again after 10 years of marriage a few years back. A book that really helped me get back into the game was Models by Mark Manson. Highly recommend it for any guy who wants to put his best foot forward with women.