I'm a very sweet and affecionate person. Constantly get told as much by women I match with. But the thing is when I'm affecionate or sweet it doesn't work out. Just wondering why that is and if I should stop it.


42 comments

  3. I personally love when a man is affectionate. But physical touch is one of my love languages

  4. C’est dépend, is there an agenda behind your sweetness and affectionate actions?

  7. I think it’s awesome! I also think you’re assuming that your affection is the reason why it doesn’t work out, when it’s likely a combination of things.

  11. There’s nothing wrong with you at all honey! Just keep being yourself, positive affection can go a long way with women. One key thing to remember, however, is WHEN you display affection. Sometimes being too affectionate too early on can seem to be too intense or pressurised, but with the right communication it shouldn’t be an issue!

  12. Yes but not at the start of a relationship. You can be affectionate just be aware of how much until the girl starts getting very comfortable with you then you can do literally whatever you want as they get attached

  13. I dare say you should listen to the women on here, myself included, who have almost all said that they really like affectionate men!

  14. i currently have a very affectionate boyfriend, i wouldn’t want it any other way, BUT you can’t go in hard with it at first, or it will come across as love bombing or just overwhelming

    edit: and as other have said, everyone has different levels of comfort and when/where plays a big part of people’s comfort level with it. communication is key!

  15. In my experience. They say they like it, but in reality they don’t.

    Especially in the beginning stages. I’ve found success with just being cold and aloof. I used to be very open, talkative and affectionate. But as I kept getting rejected over and over I just grew cold and quit caring. Next thing I knew women liked that version of me and as soon as I switched to be more affectionate they leave. (Usually over a month in)

    And I found the more I didn’t like a girl on the first date, the more they were into me. So now I basically act like I don’t like them on the first date and that seems to work pretty well for every girl I’ve gone out with. (I don’t sleep with them, I just end it after the first date or second)

    So. Either find the needle in the haystack who accepts you for you, or just become aloof and cold.

    Me personally, I’m just giving up because I’m tired of rejection and the work it takes to get a date. I’m just done, burned out.

  16. Affectionate is generally really good, but watch out because too much can become suffocating and easily too early on

  17. Personally, YES!!!

    My man is so cuddly and affectionate and I love it.

    Hes also highly sexual and passionate. And clever and a smart ass. All things I need in my life.

  19. My fiancé is extremely affectionate. I love it! What I really appreciate about him though, is that he took things slowly in the beginning. He wasn’t like that right away. He focused more on getting to know me and let it develop naturally.

  20. I think it all depends on the type of person you’re with, and what your affection style is.

    For me, I’m a very “words of affermation person” (both in giving and receiving) so I love when someone randomly tells me that they appreciate me, or are thinking of me, or that they miss me. As it is a sweet reminder that the person still cares about me.

    But, I do have some friends who hate when their partner does that, and would rather things like constant hand-holding, constant kissing, and other forms of affection through physical touch.

  21. I personally love it!!! But, I also need my space on occasion, so someone who can understand that is also important!!!

  22. Just don’t be overbearing with it. Just sitting there and listening does more than you know.
    Little things like, sure if something is bothering them, you don’t need to address it directly. Just maybe do this other thing for a thing they need to do and make their day easier.

  24. Depending on the person! I’m affectionate and clingy, my ex said I was too much. Now I found one who’s clingy as well lol. So we mesh well together

  25. i think it is just a case of finding the right person for you. i thought of myself as pretty cold and kinda freaked out by non-sexual touch but I’m pretty head over heels for a guy that is super loving and affectionate. it was pretty scary to begin with haha but now i miss his cuddles and random affectionate touches when we’re apart

    that said I think most people want affection to be eased into. i wouldn’t pretend to be someone you aren’t, but just be aware that you might have to take it a lil slower than you are doing rn. cos you might be dating scaredy-cats like me ha

  26. Be yourself. Don’t try to be a different person to make a woman like you. It won’t work (I’ve tried lol).

    Someday, someone will come along who will receive the affection you’re putting out.

    Be patient.

  29. Some women prefer the bad boy type. Some women complain that men can’t be vulnerable. Guess what? We aren’t clones. You want to be an insensitive a-hole? Go ahead but you’ll have more competition.

  30. Most girls dont like affection straight out the door. Leave time to get to know each other otherwise they will see it as lovebombing, or someone seeing too much into them. And no, they cant and wont make a difference between a genuine connection or someone who lovebombs them, they only pay attention to the signs.

    Women like affection and kind of expect it as well in forms of consistent messages, place of date, a few compliments and attention to the details.

    Again girls will not appreciate these things only will see you as desperate

  31. Yes and no.

    Affectionate is fine. Nice is fine. Weak is not.

    [uk first dates](https://youtu.be/slb0a-I1gtk?si=C7wU02V25AqfzGW0)

    Look at how this guy treats this girl.

    He’s caring. He’s cheeky. He’s confident. He’s vulnerable. He’s clearly a bit of a bad boy but he appears to have a heart of gold.

    She’s hooked in less than a minute.

    He tells her he loves her. Does it come across needy or weird at all? No it doesn’t.

    Pay attention to this guy. He’s got it figured out.

  32. I used to be that old school romantic type of guy who used to write love letters, send flowers, gifts etc. I’m no longer that person anymore after realizing most of the time they go unappreciated. I noticed getting more attention when i became cold, indifferent to them, so that’s what I’ve become over time.

  33. Yes we do. But it’s about how you go about it. Regardless, don’t change who you are as a person.

  34. yes we do. i don’t think it’s a problem as long as it’s reciprocated you should be good

  35. It is really dependent on the type of sweetness and affection. For example, if someone would ask me out on a first date that was very thoughtful to a mutual activity or place we both enjoyed, that’s amazing! I love that! But if on the same first date, they’re trying to do more than like…sit close, talk, maybe hold hands, hug, and a nice kiss at the end? That’s too much.

    You also have to pay attention to body language. If you’re being affectionate and they’re stiff, or look uncomfortable, pull back, you can even ask “is this ok?” A lot of women will appreciate the ask about their feelings and for consent. A lot of situations we are put in are “let this happen or something awful happens” and that’s why we ghost.

  36. I have to be committed and in love first, but yes then all the cuddles!

  38. I doubt it’s that. It’s most likely you guys just weren’t compatible.

    It’s like this. Imagine what things you like in a woman. Now if a MAN came up to you doing those things, would that make you want to date him? No? Because you’re not attracted to men.

    Same thing.

  40. Girls love, affectionate men but you have to still have a strong demeanor and know when to be soft and when to be hard because women hate feminine men, as well as, men who are purely soft. That’s why bad guys who abuse or are mean to their women still function so well socially. They want to tame or dominate that roughness in a man with their beautiful and womanly nature. Women want to be sort of worshipped by us in a way.

  41. This is always going to depend on the person. There’s no way to generalize what women like. We’re all different.

    Having said that, if you’re affectionate and it’s turning someone off, you’re likely just not compatible. Dating is all about finding someone you are compatible with, and it’s not a quick process.

  42. They like when men they LOVE is affectionate with them but a low value guy being affectionate won’t make her love you

    Proof = all the guys simping in her dms she obviously don’t give a fuck about.

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