So,
My parents are getting a divorce. This is something I am very happy about and grateful for. My father has been an emotionally abusive freeloader for 15 years and my mother is finally getting a divorce. He moves out of the house next week. At this point it is only a verbal agreement as neither of them have contacted a lawyer.
As soon as the divorce was agreed upon, my mom began to spend more and more time with someone she met at work. (Not a coworker )This started with grabbing food at a bar for a few hours to now spending multiple days in a row at his house every week.
He's a nice guy, and he treats her well, but I don't think this relationship is a great idea. I feel like this is all happening too fast, and I think she might have been dating him before my parents agreed on the divorce. I feel frustrated, because she left my father for this, but the years of hell he put us through wasn't enough for her to leave? I asked her to not talk about him with me, but he is all she talks about now. A few months ago she assured me that she wouldn't date him and now she spends more time with him than me.
I also think that after everything my father put us through she needs to go to therapy, take time to heal from it all, and then get into another relationship. I feel like it makes sense to take some time to reflect after leaving a 20 year marriage…. not immediately jump in to the next one. I've expressed these concerns and she doesn't seem to care or listen.
I know some part of me is being unreasonable, so I really need some help with figuring out the root of my issue, because at this point I keep feeling a lot of rage towards her and I know that isn't helping anyone. How can I find the root of my issue so I can change how I feel about it and stop being upset?