Me (27f) and my husband (32m) have been married for 3 years, together for 7.
When we started dating, for the first 2 years we were very intimate. Eventually like most couples we fell into somewhat of a routine so we were not quite as passionate, but I was always satisfied with how things were and romantically we have always been compatible. To give some context, he is from a different country so when we were dating, we would spend months together and apart, but always in near constant communication and I never suspected him of infidelity.
Fast forward to last year, I finally moved to his country and we are living together full time. Our relationship has been pretty typical, he is very sweet to me and we enjoy our time together with only the occasional fight or disagreement. However for some time now, I have felt like he is not attracted to me. We met when I was 19 just turning 20 and I haven't changed too much in 7 years, I am still young and not overweight or anything. He mentioned to me a few times that he actually prefers older women/MILFs to younger women. I also knew that when we first started dating, it had been his first long-term relationship, and he had already "played the field" so to speak and said he was ready to settle down. These days he rarely or never initiates physical intimacy and when we do, he always switches to positions from behind, which I know is his preference but sometimes I feel like he just wants to avoid meeting my gaze or something?
It reminds me of our wedding day, which was 99% perfect and romantic, but when we were repeating our vows with the officiant and making eye contact, he broke my gaze and looked down when promising to be faithful. It made me wonder if he had a problem with that vow, but I pushed it out of my mind as my own insecurity.
Now, to the point in the title of this post, I was going to sign into Facebook when I noticed a strange email pop up on the login page. It had the password attached so I logged in. He has a fake profile claiming to be a very attractive Italian man. The only friends added are all women. He makes occasional posts there and follows groups for single and divorced people, and pages with memes about sex. I checked the messenger and saw many women listed, but when I clicked on the option to "synchronize message history" and see if anything was sent to them, it asked me for a PIN number which I couldn't guess. If they are protected this way, there must be something he is hiding, but I can't prove it just yet.
Just the thought of bringing this up to him filla me with dread and anxiety. On the one hand, I don't think he would physically cheat. This may be the equivalent to watching porn for him. But why all the secrecy? It makes me uneasy. How bad is this situation?