Hey everyone, I understand we're both still young especially me but I could use some piece of advice.
Some backstory: me and my boyfriend know each other for around 10 years now, we were only online friends but since he started to like me, we started going out and made it official a month ago. He's from neighboring country and he already met my parents. The real issue starts here:
My mom already hated his guts before she met him because he didn't go to a university, therefore has no degree.
(I'm from Europe and every high school in these both countries has some kind of specialization and kids basically graduate to be able to work already what they studied.)
After he left after the first visit to meet my mother, she started to trash talk him how he has no degree and works in a factory, how he's no one, that he's not even that good-looking which these comments obviously hurt me because this is not what I've expected from my own mother who dates a man who has no degree himself.
Later on she decided to browse all of his social media profiles and real estate websites where you can see who owns what and found out that he lives with his grandpa (my boyfriend mentioned it) but doesn't own half of the property as he said (he said he lives in the upper part of the house that the part belongs to him). In the meantime I found out he lied about his loan.
She began ranting about how he's no one but a liar and that he's not welcomed in her house anymore, begged me to break up with him because she saw it coming (him lying).
Long story short, he was at home when he learned all of my mom's reactions which I think they're normal and he apologized to her but he also mentioned that she misunderstood the part that he owns something, that he only said it belongs to him, not that he owns something.
My mom and I obviously didn't like it and I was near ending the relationship because of it and also because of my mom pressuring me.
Our mutual friend (24F) told me to wait a few days and not to break it off like that because she knows my boyfriend and he's a good guy.
So we waited but my mom forbid me from seeing him or even talking about him in front of her. She said she feels disgusted when she hears anything about him. I begged her for around 2-3 weeks to be able to see him again and I fully took the risk of him lying to me again. I tried telling her I'm an adult and she just can't forbid me talking to someone as if I'm 8. Eventually we had a huge fight where she finally let me go out with him.
So we kept meeting only during weekends, my boyfriend helped her with buying groceries etc. So I thought we were fine. However, every time he left (he didn't enter her house or step onto her property since we both respect her decision) she started to trash talk him again and we had a fight every single time. I felt like she was using him for buying groceries or helping out with something.
I told my boyfriend about this situation and he was honestly very pissed off as he's trying his best to help her even though he's very much aware of the fact that she hates him and he told me that he feels used by her.
We both decided to not listen to her ranting anymore as it only got heavier and heavier.
However, few days ago it started to get even worse as she "found out" that I went out with him for a trip (she was aware of it, I informed her 2 weeks beforehand, knew where I was going to stay and with who and what time I would come home). She didn't simply like the fact that I was going out and gave me the worst attitude. I wasn't even sleeping over in the hotel where he was staying in and brought me home every single night and made sure I came home safe and sound.
2 weeks ago I informed her that I'd be going for a summer vacation like 30 km away from my house with him, told her everything like where I would be staying and how long. She started saying that I'm only dating him for sex which got me completely angry because me and my boyfriend decided not to get intimate this much yet.
She simply doesn't believe me, doesn't like that fact that I'm going out. Last night we had a huge argument over her wanting to have a control over the money I make because I live in her household. She started to belittle me and my boyfriend and it ended up in a huge argument about him me and him are no one, to go f myself etc. I confronted her about her stalking my boyfriend (he found out through Facebook that she does that – she keeps blocking and unblocking) and she said it's completely okay to do that as she's my mother and if she had the money to pay a detective to find everything out about him since his birth, she would. I told her she simply doesn't like the thought of me dating.
This argument started my condition (I do not wish to mention it here) and I had a seizure where I was shaking from the whole stress she caused me. And when she saw that, she just kept yelling how it's all my fault, I'm just like my father (who she divorced), how I'm simply dating him to screw him and other hurtful stuff and ended up with saying how she's going to take legal action on me if I won't stop acting the way I do (till now I don't know how I angered her) and she's going to sell our house and kick me out.
I called my boyfriend at night because I was about to pass out from the whole stress and anxiety, he said to not worry about it that he would contact the police if she tried to hurt me, him or his family. Especially through stalking. I also confronted him about my mom stalking and finding out the stuff he studied in a high school doesn't exist and he begged me not to believe her and told me to just ask his mom (47F) instead (later that night I found documents from his high school online about the specialization he studied in his high school) because he was just so saddened by the fact how my mom acts. I confronted my mom about it and at first, she acted like she was asleep but then she said "he's still a liar to me."
If you made it here, thank you, I would appreciate some advice or anything that could help me figure out what the next step is.
TL;DR; : my mother (58F) dislikes heavily my boyfriend (23M) due to a petty lie and is going mental even though he tries his best to help her and me.