From my last thread I have realised how important humour is in first dates and that lack of it may be a reason many of mine didn’t go as well as I hoped. I think it can be hard, though, as meeting someone for coffee/drinks for the first time can feel a little artificial at first. Does anyone have any tips on how I can introduce a little humour into my next online first date, or think of any conversations you have had that led you to make each other laugh a lot?
Edit: By online first dates I mean first dates in person with someone you met online
26 comments
My only tip would be not to try too hard.
I had a first date with someone today who tried too hard. He kept making a lot of (not funny) jokes and they just seemed out of place. Not attractive at all to me.
Personally, I think if people make jokes then they need to be genuine. Don’t make a joke because you feel like you need to make them in order to be found attractive. I think people will pick up on that.
Sorry I don’t have any actual advice on cracking jokes 🙂
Test the crowd, dont be edgy, smooth your segways.
Knock knock – who’s there – orange – orange who – orange you glad I turned up 😉
Don’t force it. If you see an opening for a mild joke, try it. FFS don’t be edgy or make consent-based jokes (as a straight man one important job you have is convincing your date that you’re not a rapist. It sucks, but that’s how it is).
It’s one of those things where if you normally make jokes your date will work it out sooner or later. Especially if (like me) you make dad jokes and puns. I can’t remember them on demand, but oh boy when the situation comes up I’m going to either laugh out loud at the joke in my head, or I’m going to tell you that joke. “why do anarchists drink herbal tea? Because [proper tea is theft](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Property_is_theft!)!” (it was funny the first 200 times so it’s funny now). If someone doesn’t get that type of humour they’re going to get sick of me, so let’s get that over with now.
I’ve always had a banter back and forth with messaging before the date even happened so I feel like it usually translates pretty easily in person, too. I won’t normally get to the date phase without a natural banter during text anyway because to me that’s a good indication of personality match.
People might argue how can you determine this via text but I have tried to go on dates where it was just like robotic questions and then we planned a date and it was never successful. So I go with my gut and look for the natural conversation and banter and sense of humor.
So my advice is be natural and be yourself and don’t force it. 🙂
Ergh Christ, I find it hard enough to inject humour into online beers with my best mates I’ve known for years. My top tip would be don’t have online first dates? The comedy timing is so much harder!
I find that whenever I read or watch humor that I like, it puts me in a good mood, and then I bring that good mood and humor with me into the next situation. It’s contagious.
My humor is mostly dry, deadpan, and filled with bad puns and dad jokes, and it’s pretty easy to find any of those on YouTube. Just pick whatever you like. You don’t need to remember any of the jokes, you just need to laugh and let yourself feel better, then your good mood and jokes will naturally just come out.
Also, for video calls, it’s possible to tell jokes with the camera, which is basically half the humor in every Simon Pegg / Nick Frost movie, and I’d recommend any of them. For research.
Agree with others. Don’t try too hard to be funny. I think the key is to be as relaxed as possible to create a comfortable environment where you and your date can have a normal conversation.
I don’t have much advice on the actual ‘injecting humor’, as humor is my way of coping so it’s just kind of second nature to me at this point lol
I think humor is just one of those things where either you gel or you don’t. Trying to force it could get very cringe very fast.
Why is your first date going to be online? That’s so much harder to inject humour.
It’s different for everyone, but I like to gently poke fun at my dates, and appreciate when they do the same. On my first date with my now boyfriend, I teased him for playing in a chess competition. He did the same to me for being catholic. Ten months later and we’re still making fun of each other.
This is the strangest question and the fact you ask it makes me think you don’t really get how humour works. Funny people can find the humour in anything. I think your best bet would be not to try to be funny but rather be playful.
Mkae yourself laugh first. If you can’t amuse yourself, you’re not going to amuse other people.
Go for a walk, moving usually makes it less awkward and more things to point out then too
I had a few funny stories in my pocket that were playful and usually got a laugh. Travel mishaps or online dating travails are good for this- subjects that come up often so you’re not trying to shoehorn in a random anecdote into the conversation. I think that works better in early dates that telling jokes or teasing.
Humor isn’t really something you can turn on suddenly. Usually you are good at it and things flow naturally or you don’t have it. I am generally a funny person who always has jokes. I have found I can be stiff on some first dates though. Usually those are people I am not connecting with. Other times jokes are flowing and we are laughing a lot. So a lot of it comes down to chemistry, comfort and being with the right person.
Honestly I find the advice “be natural” and “don’t try too hard” extremely unhelpful. I think you *should* try too hard…at first…and then course correct.
Most comedians have stories about how at their first gigs they may have stunk up the place. But eventually you’ll get a real laugh and then reflecting (this is key) on that you’ll get a sense of your style of humor.
Closely watching a show like Seinfeld or stand up comedy routines may give you an idea about wit, banter, and/or how you can better construct the stories that you tell.
100% emulation is not the goal…just shoot for being better than you were before. And you should practice with everyone, preferably not just dates…we only get so many dates..
* Don’t tell just tell jokes. I’ve had dates that felt like someone was auditioning for stand-up. They were nonstop! Its one thing to throw in a witty remark here and there. Its another thing to not be able to have a conversation.
* Your jokes or humorous stories should be positive and shouldn’t be about other people. Laughing as you tell a “hilarious” story about your coworker Brent tripping and falling down the stairs at an important event isn’t making me laugh on a first date. I don’t know Brent, so it just makes you seem like a jerk who laughs as his friends potentially get hurt.
* Don’t tell jokes if you aren’t comfortable. Maybe you’re not a super funny person. That’s okay! It doesn’t mean you have to be serious and boring. There are other ways to be engaging that don’t include full blown humor, and maybe thats your comfort level?
Don’t. You shouldn’t be injecting anything into a first date.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh, do stupid things, and don’t be afraid to look like a dork every now and then. However, you do also need to be somewhat careful and don’t overdo it to the point where she just sees you as the class clown.
I see several people here saying you either have humor or you don’t. This is NOT true. Google how to be funny. There is plenty out there. In a nutshell, a lot of humor just involves doing or saying the unexpected. Something is usually funny when people expect you to say one thing but you say something completely unexpected instead.
Example: when we first met, she nearly choked on her spaghetti and we had to go to the emergency room. Worst date ever. We’ve been married 15 years now.
Self loathing and making fun of yourself. Makes you more human.
I’ll suggest you be as natural as you can be. Let it all flow without forcing anything and see the jokes flow all out
Syringes are pretty reliable.
to be honest mate I don’t think you should be injecting anything into your date. Really not cool.
Make fun of yourself when appropriate.
Just be yourself so you can attract someone who likes you. No need to force anything. I personally dont like guys who crack to many jokes especially on the first date. Ppl are looking for different things – the one for you may not be looking for a jokester on the first date