TW: self harm, ER visits, depression

my girlfriend and i have only been dating for a month and have known each other for about 3 months. i knew she had some childhood trauma when we started dating, but soon after i learned more about her history of self harm which resulted in an ER visit last year. she reassured me she was doing much better and i didn’t see any reason to be concerned about something like that happening again.
buuuuut a few days ago it did. i hadn’t heard from her by her usual “good morning” text time, so i checked find my friends and saw she was in the ER. i called them to confirm, then she was discharged and gave me all the details. essentially she said she felt like she needed to hurt herself to get the ER visit under her record, so she would be taken seriously for an inpatient psychiatric program. she says it’s what she needs to get help, which i respect and support. she mentioned i didn’t have to stay in the relationship if i didn’t feel like i could handle it. i do care about her but i feel way in over my head with this right now. i’m just scared of these issues getting worse.
i’m not sure how to proceed and would like some advice. honestly i’m not sure if i want to be in this relationship, this is all happening very quickly and i’m not sure how to process it. i’m a full time student and i didn’t really see this stuff happening. i’m just worried i’ll stay in the relationship and the problems will progress to much worse, like her hurting herself to the point of no return.

TLDR: my girlfriend’s mental health is much worse than i thought. we’ve only been together for a month and i need advice/insight on whether or not to end the relationship

2 comments
  1. Honestly? I’d say you should probably take a step back. The middle of a mental health crisis is not the time to start a new relationship.

  2. She’s not in a healthy mental space to be navigating a relationship. She needs to focus on herself man.

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