Not a terribly unsurprising post here, but I'd love to hear some other opinions. I have been physically involved with my partner for 8 months now and we are very sexually compatible, we have a very fulfilling sex life, and we are both able to bring each other to orgasm sometimes several times a visit. All things considered we are doing fine. However, while my fingers and mouth seem to have much more stamina, my penis has proven to be far too sensitive to last long enough for her to orgasm.
It's perfectly reasonable for everyone who wants to comment to say that I shouldn't worry as long as I'm able to satisfy her needs, and I agree, I'm very thankful that I'm able to do that. However, it is something that both of us like at some point, though she has explicitly mentioned that she is not upset at how things are right now and is very satisfied. Mainly I want to last longer so that we can both enjoy these intimate moments more, so that we can both enjoy orgasming together, and so that I can experience this one aspect of my life I've never been able to before, whether that sounds selfish or not.
If anyone has any legitimate tips or recommendations I would love to hear them and to try them out, otherwise please just do not answer if you are not going to be helpful. Thank you
34 comments
You need to think about piles of dead puppies.
Any leg or lower body workout. For me, I always last longer after lunges
Honestly, I’ve been together with my wife 20 years and I’ve never had much penile stamina. I just focus on foreplay and I only really go inside her as she’s climaxing. Her climaxes last a long time, and if I cum in her while she’s on that high it can push her higher.
Learn about tantric sex
Eat pussy 💁🏽♀️
Think about work
Learn about gooning
Time your strokes. It’s all about rhythm. Don’t dive right in like a jackhammer. You gotta start slow and build up to a speed that works with your current position. Switch it up if you feel like you’re about to nut.
Don’t worry about who lasts longer, as long as you both are truly enjoying yourselves. THAT is what’s important.
Aside from that, throw off your rhythm deliberately or take a break and focus exclusively on her enjoyment. If you both are truly compatible, she’ll return the effort and enjoyment back to you.
Anti-depressants are great if you never to want cum. Mix with Viagra and you’re basically a human dildo.
What kind of shape are you in that makes a difference
Round 2 doesn’t last longer for you?
Start doing the Fibonacci sequence in your head, works for me
Stop occasionally and eat some pussy
Think unsexy thoughts.
Surprised no one mentioned doing kegels? Find the muscles when you contract them by holding your piss in mid stream. Do a few sessions of flexing that muscle multiple times a day. That’s the best way because you’ll not only control your wad, but you’ll also have a better boner.
Wake up super early after going to bed really late.
Don’t drink any coffee all day.
At around 10 to 11 pm then go into your room, make sure you draw all or the black out curtains. Turn on a sound machine, get a nice fan blowing on you, and just drift off into an endless slumber.
Disassociate. Don’t let yourself want it or her. Works great, she’ll hate it, you won’t enjoy it, but you won’t be able to cum.
I’m also a guy with poor sexual stamina. The main problem is that my wife and I don’t really get to fuck as often as we’d like. We’re both working professionals and have a kid, so we have to wait for weekends or a night when we’re not completely exhausted. So that’s why my stamina is low = low frequency. However, when we first got married, we fucked like rabbits and I had very high stamina as a result. Sometimes, if I feel like sex is going to happen that night, I might just jerk off earlier in the day so that I don’t cum immediately from being too sensitive. Also, condoms limit what you can feel, so that helps with lasting longer too. As far as pleasing my wife is concerned, I always make sure she has an orgasm first, which is usually nipple and clitoral stimulation, and then she’ll pull me on top and now I can do my thing.
So, that’s my experience. I don’t know if any of that would help.
There are desensitizing wipes from online companies like Ro. Not sure if they work, haven’t tried and can’t vouch.
Only thing I can say is be very mindful of rhythm. If your cadence is too fast, tone it down a little. If that doesn’t work, start counting in between thrusts. Do what you can to be half engaged, and half somewhere else.
Do squats with heavy weights (safely, after learning form). The contractions from your legs and core will improve the strength of your pelvic floor muscles and improve your sex life.
Personally I feel its about breathing. Never start breathing fast and u always breathe quick or short breaths when u r close!
So keep ur breathing normal and when you feel stable, go for fast strokes, slow down when u feel ur breathing getting faster. Then same thing, rinse and repeat
You guys could practice edging with each other. It will give you a sense of how to keep yourself one the edge without going over.
Smoke some weed
Surprised there isn’t more mention of desensitization wipes, spray or creams. I mean, you gotta experiment a bit and find the right amount and the correct spots to apply it – if you put too much on then you won’t really feel anything at all – which sucks (obviously).
Some people have mentioned doing Kegel exercises, etc. This is also a good place to start. Practice the clinching Kegel exercise when you are peeing – thats a good way for you to see how it works. I mean, do it daily, every time you pee. Before you know it, you’ll have mastery over it.
To me the best advice I’ve been given is to make sure you breathe. You’ll cum super fast if you’re holding your breath at all. Take some deep breathes and calm down. A lot of it is mental
Lasting longer essentially means you want to have some level of desensitization. It can either be psychological or physical.
Physical desensitization can come in the form of condoms, jerking off more, viagra, antidepressants, numbing spray, etc. Depending on the method, it can make it extremely difficult to finish, but finding the right one (like condoms) can make the act enjoyable while helping you last longer.
Psychological desensitization can be things that take your mind off of the act. Some people say to think about something very unpleasant, but if could also be solely focusing on your partner’s pleasure and neglecting your own. You could watch a ton of porn all the time, but that’s a horrible solution. Adding stressors can help, but I think you see a theme here.
There aren’t a lot of good solutions to this problem, and it’s probably best you don’t mess with it too much. If you’re satisfied and your woman is satisfied, there isn’t much that can be done. Condoms and taking your mind off the pleasure intermittently are probably the safest and most reversible solutions here.
Another option is changing the actual progression of sex. Change up the tempo, spend more time with foreplay, weave in oral and fingering when you feel you’re getting close. Focus on other things during the act that doesn’t require your dick.
my stamina noticeably improved when i started doing a *lot* more cardio.
I like to mentally run through Bloodborne from the start to Byrgenwerth while avoiding eye contact. Once I get to Master Willem in my head I’ve gone a respectable period of time and can refocus on the beautiful woman and immediately finish.
Nice and easy does it no jack hammering
Dapoxetine 💪
It’s not selfish at all.
There are many treatment options depending on how much it impacts you. There are physical techniques like “stop-start technique” or “the sqeeze technique”, there are numbing sprays/creams, and even antidepressants can help. Therapy is also used to treat it.
But honestly, I recommend all guys to get their hormone levels checked because it has a huge impact on your body, especially your sexual function, and its easy to just accept it as a normal part of aging. Mens health clinics are there to help you, fellas.
I had incredibly low testosterone that got picked up by accident on a blood test recently, I hadn’t even realised how much it had effected my entire health including sf. so I decided to get testosterone replacement therapy.
#1 Get her off entirely with fingers, mouth, and/or toy
#2 Enter
#3 Enjoy the two minute ride until you both climax.
Wear a condom, or jack an hour or so before you two get into it, or distract yourself mentally.
A friend says he thinks about John Candy when he wants to last longer.