So me and my boyfriend have been together for about 4 years now and living together for 2 1/2 years. During most of our relationship he has been in a divorce process with his ex wife who’s been separated from for 6 years or so. It was never planned for the divorce process to go on for this long, but his ex wife was being extremely difficult. Their divorce was finalised when I was 2 months pregnant.
I’ve always wanted to get married and have children, however I’m now 3 months pregnant and I’m still unmarried. He recently suggested that we should get married soon, however I’ve always told him I’ll never marry him while being pregnant and honestly I feel like he took a lot of things away from me by letting his ex wife rule over him completely. It was their divorce, but strangely enough I honestly suffered a lot as well, it’s not easy to be with a man who’s in a divorce process with someone else. He’s a very kind and loving man, but I often felt dehumanised when it came to his status with his ex wife.
I’m at this point where I don’t want to get married because of his divorce and all that mess. I’ve always wanted a wedding and all that, but I don’t have that wish anymore? I don’t know why, I don’t know how to describe this feeling that I have, but I just don’t want to. A part of me is disappointed that he let his divorce process go on for this long. We live in a European country where it’s normal to not get married, even tho I know he’ll be very disappointed when I have to tell him that I don’t wish to get married right now. Being pregnant and getting married at the same time feels very wrong for me.
Is it normal this feel this way? Am I being overdramatic for saying no to marriage because of the complicated feelings I’m left with after 4 years of waiting? Do I give him all the details to why?
EDIT: for those questioning why I got pregnant with a married man. I was 2 years ago diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis and I was advised to start having children asap or else I might not be able to have children in the future.
TL;DR – My boyfriend spent 4 years trying to divorce his ex wife. I’m now pregnant and I don’t wish to get married because of the difficult feelings I’m left with after his divorce was finalised. I feel like he took my dream wedding away from me and I don’t know if it’s normal to feel this way.