Hello everyone !
A bit of a background – we’ve been together for 2 and a half years, living together for the last year and a half. We are very different and it shows a lot, we had so many fights most of them being ugly as hell and literally a traumatic experience for me and I assume for her too.
Our communication sucks, we can’t figure out anything unless I compromise or we ignore the problem which is not normal at all. When I bring it up she gets upset and says that she’s not like that but it’s literally facts. Unless I agree with her, nothing gets solved.
We simply aren’t compatible and she knows it. Part of the reasons for her for staying with me is because she’s come to an age where she wants to settle down, she doesn’t want to start dating all over again if we break up and basically that she’s comfortable with the relationship, she said those things and when I got upset she said that obviously the main reason is that she loves me and all these stuff, it still hurt me as hell, I’m no default.
Unfortunately I don’t see this relationship working out and not ending with divorce in the future, or me being miserable. I don’t want it and also my feelings for her have diminished over the time.
The problem is that each time I try breaking up she simply won’t allow it. She talks me out of it, guilt trips me and what not. There was a time recently when I’ve picked my stuff and we had a closure and everything but at the last moment she asked me to stay. I broke down in tears, she didn’t understand why but it was because I’ve realised how close I was but still failed.
Another time I asked for a break up, at first she said nothing, just ok and that she’ll leave the house. I asked her to stay and that I’ll go as I have where to go while she doesn’t, she disagreed and said she can’t stay in our house because it’s too hard so I agreed. She packed some of the stuff said she’ll come again to take the rest. As she was about to leave she started yelling and crying saying I never loved her and shit like this which broke my heart but I didn’t ask her to stay. She went out crying only to come back half an hour later, again talking me into staying.
I literally don’t know what to do. I’m not a man enough to do it and she has her way with words, and I fall into it every single time.
I even thought of cheating on her just so she leaves me, but it’s a scum bag move and I’ll never do it, but even then- she won’t leave me.
I’m clueless. FML
TLDR; I want to break up but don’t have the balls to do so