TL;DR Is it normal to have to provide a list of how to clean your house to your partner?
For context, me and my partner, both in our mid 30s/early 40s, live together.
I've been bed bound for the last 4 weeks due to a spinal injury, and my partner is quite messy so you can imagine the mess of the house. Any mess drives me mad so I've been doing my best to do what I can here and there but it's been really challenging as for a considerable amount of this time I've been unable to walk and shower etc.
He works alot of hours, so I don't expect him to do any house work ordinarily as I'm home all day at the moment (I got sepsis a few months ago so I've been off work recovering – its completely unrelated to my spinal injury, just bad luck).
Hes off this week for annual leave as we were supposed to be going away – this got cancelled bevause of my back, but we agreed today that we'd both try and get the house back in good shape given I can just about walk now.
He did 15 minutes of washing up, decided to sit down and watch some sports on the TV for over an hour, then head to the cornershop for sweets, then immediately play video games on his computer. When I noticed he was playing games I said "So we're done with the house for today then?". He immediately got on the defense and started saying he wants to play his games now and after some huffing and puffing he decided to ask me for a "list of what to do". A list?! As soon as he said this I saw red. He's in his 40s and needs a list to clean the house! I said look around and see what needs doing, to which he kept saying I need a list repeatedly.
I've been with him nearly 10 years, and when I tell you I've never been less attracted to him and grossed out by him before. Quite possibly the most angry I've been aswell. He's totally confused why I'm so cross. I absolutely won't be giving him a list.
I dont resent him doing thing he enjoys, but 15 minutes of work and requiring a list to do anything else, whilst I've been so poorly has well and truly pushed me over the edge into a pit of rage.