How to begin. I’ve found myself stuck in a real-life “when Harry met Sally” situation. I met a woman at work I became fast friends with over the course of about 2 weeks. We talked all the time mainly in-person and over text. I never viewed the relationship as anything more than platonic and it was never my intention to signal otherwise.
Until other co-workers started commenting about the ostensibly romantic nature of the relationship. Multiple co-workers said these things, and spread over an extended period of time. Initially I really didn’t care for that. I’m not sure why. I guess was afraid that she’d hear these (false) rumors and distance herself. That never really happened though. She seemed unbothered. I’m nearly 100 percent certain she heard a lot of similar comments. I just don’t know that firsthand, nor do I know what she thinks of such comments. At any rate, I thought it ultimately didn’t matter, since both of us continued on with our friendship normally. I thought all was well. And for a while, it was. She is caring, friendly, mature. I understand why people made comments, even if they were off base. We have extended conversations about anything and everything, including some fairly personal stuff. We still do, although as I’ll explain below, it’s different now.
But recently I’ve detected some kind of wall and/or tension. It isn’t a huge wall. In fact, a few times I’ve wondered if I’ve imagined it. We still talk quite frequently about professional and personal issues. But now, every now and again, she makes a few little verbal jabs which I genuinely think are teasing but come across as mildly barbed. There are also a few times recently when she’s signaled she doesn’t really want to talk. I’ve also noticed that she acts differently (ie more friendly) when around most other people. She laughs with them and touches them. Then she’ll talk to me too, but she’ll be less friendly and more likely to complain. Also, the longest conversations she has with me are only when we are alone. If there are other people around, she acknowledges me the least out of any of them. She also never touches me. I hope that doesn’t sound petty. I’ll add that I genuinely don’t care about these things per se, but when she treats other people differently, my relationship with her feels like it’s in a class of its own, and I don’t think in a good way.
I don’t understand why this is happening. I also don’t understand the timing of this change. I don’t think it’s related to office gossip. That had been going on long before this change started. Now I’m afraid my entire friendship with her is in trouble.
And I’m really sorry about it! We have a relationship that I want to nurture, but I’ve never really had one like quite like this. Does anybody have any thoughts on this situation?