Hello all, was curious if you guys classed the following things as red flags. I've been dating a girl and there's some things I'm not keen on but they are fundamental aspects of her personality.
I'll preface all this by saying she is a widow, this is important for the story. She was hurting badly after losing her husband and her way to deal with it was by jumping on the apps and having lots of one night stands with different guys to distract herself from the pain. I'm not a fan of this but honestly I'd probably do the same if I was hurting. She was completely open and honest about this fact.
A guy she met early on whilst dating occasionally stays over at her house. She said that with this guy she cut things off quickly as he wanted something serious and she didn't but "they never did anything". When I found this out I said it was a red flag and that's not something I would be happy with. She was offended at first as this guy became a good friend and was a shoulder to cry on and support her early on. She agreed to not have him over whilst we were dating. She didn't really understand why I didn't want this and I said I wouldn't want any male friends staying over at all (she thought it was perfectly normal).
Another friend she had a crush on at school often comes over to her house. Again, a friend that she's known for years. They both have kids that are friends and play together. She's in her 40s now.
She works in prison rehabilitation. Not the biggest fan of her being surrounded by big criminal bad boys as this is a well known fantasy for a lot of women and we've all heard the stories. She helps these guys talk about their emotions and tends to see their good side. One day she came back and was telling me all about "this lovely guy she'd met" (one of the criminals) and basically gushing about him. Obviously he was charming fella and she fell for this…
We went to a dance class and had to rotate partners. When we walked out, one of the first things she mentioned was how good the eye contact was with one of the guys and how she "was there for it".
I don't think she's a cheater, she just genuinely loves to experience everything in life and is open to everything. This includes being open with her experiences which may seem like she's trying to make me jealous but I know she isn't. But still, these are things I really want to hear. Despite all this, she is great and emotionally intelligent and wanted to work on literally every single issue we had. But still, the fact that she is naturally like this is a bit of a red flag for me. She's also quite impulsive and in her own words, does the opposite of what she is told. I feel as though this could be a recipe for disaster later on down the line when she becomes bored with me.