I met my boyfriend six months ago and I've been totally head over heels for him. The same goes for him, telling everyone about me, wanting to spend time with each other, being super duper clear that we want to be in a relationship.
Three months in he asked me to be his girlfriend and told me everyday how much he likes me. How lucky he feels to have met me. He's been totally and completely into me.
He told me he's never been in a serious relationship before, having had some girlfriends for a year or two but them rejecting him or not being ready to be serious about him (for example not wanting to call him their boyfriend, not wanting to move in together, etc.)
He also told me I'm the first person he's ever felt THIS was about.
In the past month or so I told him I love him, I'm in love with him, etc. he cried tears of joy and told me he's in love with me too. He literally cried and said, smiling, how happy he is.
Honestly, just being with him is easy. Never ever had any fights, smiles and laughs every time, cuddling and kissing, lovey dovey behavior. He meets a ton of marks none of my previous partners have and he has expressed the same sentiment towards me.
I feel like we have real potential. To move in with one another. To be partners. To possibly one day be married.
Over the past few weeks, however, he's been pulling away from me sexually and emotionally. I can tell he's nervous and he's been making comments here and there about how he wants to potentially change some circumstances in his life and he doesn't know what will happen but he's worried about those decisions impacting me.
I have been super clear from the beginning that I want a partner long term and I'm dating to see if that could potentially be the case. I am looking for love and maybe one day in the future marriage. I don't want kids and right now I'm focusing on my career. We were on the totally same page.
Now he tells me that he's worried I'll be devastated if we break up one day in the future, or what if he can't be the partner I'm looking for, or that he's worried that I'll be hurt if he makes some life decisions that will make us split up. He said and I quote "if you were offered a job overseas I would wish you the best on your way and I would be hurt but I know I would be okay", however "if I did that to you I think it would devastate you and that makes me worried because I don't ever want to hurt you.
He literally has no job offers at the moment and we're only dating for six months. I'm a little baffled why he's feeling the pressure to consider and be 10000% committed as if I'm the last person he's ever going to date in his life. It seems to me like he's overwhelmed by things starting to get more serious and is checking in with himself over every little thing; ie "oh my god she said x thing it must mean I really feel x". For example he was tired and didn't want to have sex, then he thought to himself "oh my god if I don't want to have sex with her that must mean something".
I had a conversation with him where he shared these feelings and he said it felt like a weight had been lifted. He wanted to work towards things together. He's going to focus on enjoying our time together now and in the moment and relieve this pressure about worrying about the future.
He also said he doesn't want to break up and loves spending time with me but felt he needed to remind himself I'm not someone who is just an amazing friend, I'm someone who he really cares about. He cried and said "I'm sorry I just feel like these feelings I have are very significant".
Honestly I am baffled as to what to do. I don't know what happened or how we got here. I don't know if he's avoidant and scared because he's realizing he really cares for me OR if he's realizing I'm more into him that he is into me. I don't know if I should pull away, break it off, or remain supportive and give it a shot together as a team.
Please any advice would be helpful.