A few years ago I moved to my current town due to my work. It's a place reserved mainly for commuters into the city (London) and so there is very little 'community' around here. Because of this I've found it very hard to make friends. My school friends live back home hours away and the friends I've made at work commute from the other side of London, where most now have kids to keep their attention 99% of the time.
I've tried a few different hobbies that I thought I'd be interested in, but none have really grabbed me enough to stick with them.
I see other friends of mine being part of groups for their hobbies and having found their 'tribe'. But I haven't and it's rather sad.
I wondered if others have been in the same boat? Have you found your tribe, are you still looking etc.?
12 comments
I have my hobby (competitive shooting). I LOVE it. But it’s a hive of right wing nutjobs at times. That’s not cool. So while I have a hobby I never tire of, those folks don’t count as my tribe.
[shrug]
No, but that’s never been my aim. I have friends across my hobbies but not just one “tribe.” Others I see intentionally choose to make their hobby their whole social life and do all the things. That’s fine but my interests are too varied.
I’m always looking. I’m an extrovert, and love being with people. I recently moved and had to start over socially. It’s hard. I’ve found a few here and there but I’m building it back up slowly.
It’s not about the activity. It’s about the people you’re doing it with.
Keep trying new ones until you find em.
Yes, I absolutely am. I recently became FTM. All I want are my dudes of the same ilk. I have family and friends, and while I love them, they aren’t necessary entirely on my wavelength.
47. Have not really found a tribe. Never really had one. Have groups I move in and out of, and a few close friends but no tribe.
I’ve found myself “tribe”-hopping throughout the years. It’s with whoever’s goals and interests align with mine at the time. I still keep in touch with my old social circles, but I don’t see them as often.
I know it’s easier said than done, but you probably just gotta start reaching out to people. I met my current group from a college friend’s college friend. He reached out to see if I wanted to go to a show with them and I met everyone who was there. I started hitting them up after and they started hitting me up as well. We’ve been kicking it weekly for 2 years. They’re at my house right now while I work lol.
Show enthusiasm, remember names and stories people tell. When you run into them again, ask them how things are going, specifically about things that they mentioned to you in a previous conversation. People take note when others take interest in them.
never really felt i slotted in with any group. I can get on with almost anyone but just never felt at home. at this age i’ve settled with that
Just gotta be your own tribe, even with people who are close friends your schedules, interests will change and misalign over time. Just keep doing you and it will attract your tribe.
I just want to do my own thing.
Men build relationships through activities.
Find a hobby you can truly immerse yourself in – that will lead to finding your tribe.
I did once. Then they threw me out and said horrible shit about me.