Tw: animal attack.
I’m going to start with this… I’m still a bit traumatized. And I will be finding someone to talk to. And a friends made this account for me because I am not a frequenter.
Don’t know if the pitbul made it. I haven’t asked.
My husband, and his niece and nephew and I were in our back yard. I am going to assume out gate was open I can’t remember. It (the pitbull) came out of no where and latched on to his niece (5f). niece screamed. I turned, kicked it with all the force I could manage. I was lucky enough to hit it in the jaw somewhere that made its jaw dislodge.
My husband, who had been a few feet away, shouted. Something along the lines of ‘who’s dog this!?’
I told him to get our bear spray from the house, I was in a panic. I am a animal love, but it was so insane—the pitbul seemed almost rabid. I don’t think it was in hindsight—it wasn’t foaming at the mouth it was just… crazed.
…My husband ran.
But not towards the house, He literally ran out the fence gate…and shut it behind him. not towards his niece or ‘nephew’.
WHO WAS ALSO PRESENT in a outdoor bassinet that I managed to all but toss onto the picnic table to make sure it was out of the dogs reach—while holding his niece offer my shoulder….I put her on the bbq to keep her out of reach, but the dog was literally jumping and snapping, and I was worried that if I tried to carry her(I’m short) it would managed to grab her out of my hands.
It chased me when I ran for the shove but then I swung at it…and I swung until it stopped. I don’t think I will ever forget the sound or feeling.
It was so high stress, I didn’t even realize that it had bit me twice.
I haven’t spoken to him for a full week, even though we live in the same house, I didn’t ask where he went, he only came back a few minutes later to pack us into the car and drive us to the hospital.
He’s getting angry that I’m ‘giving him the silent treatment’… but I feel like it’s his fault that I had to possibly end that animal… if he had gotten the bear spray (I literally keep it in my purse for if I am ever attack by and animal or otherwise) then I don’t think I would have needed to do what I did. It was literally just inside the door, he knows where I keep it. Instead he literally took off to god knows where. Me and two children (that I’m not even related to could have died). It might not even be relevant, but I don’t even like kids. I am staunchly childfree and he is the one that offered us up to babysit for the weekend.
I don’t know, is this grounds for divorce? I’m not sure I can even look at him. Any attraction I had to him is pretty much gone. He tried to touch me yesterday, just to move me so he could pass, and I smacked his hand away without even thinking about it like he was some stranger at a bar, because it was literally jarring.
He’s just been skulking around trying to talk to me then getting frustrated, then skulking more.
I wasn’t expecting him to be macho and fist fight the freaking dog but at least follow instruction? At least not leave me in a life and death situation with a toddler and an infant? Should I be able to chalk this up to in the moment panic, I don’t even know if I want to hear him out…
32 comments
I’m stunned. What reason did he give for putting his safety above 2 children’s and his wife’s? I cannot fathom that. Were you thinking of having children? Because… really not good. I get why you have lost attraction. Damn. It’s not so much that you may have had to kill the dog but that he left you and his niece and baby nephew in a situation where any of you could have actually died. I couldn’t get past that. I’m a 60 year old woman and would sacrifice myself for any child.
I wouldn’t hear him out. What is there to hear? He volunteered to babysit. The point of babysitting is to keep the children safe. He created a situation that made the children even more unsafe, and put you at risk as well.
What does that day about him as a partner? How could you ever trust him again? His reaction wasn’t even to acknowledge how much harm he put you all in–it’s to get pissy he isn’t getting attention. Of course you are going to need time to process. He doesn’t want to give you that, because the only logical conclusion is to leave someone you can’t trust.
Please tell me that you told their parents what happened, with his involvement at the forefront.
This will probably be down voted to oblivion but personally I’d never trust someone who ran away like that ever again with my safety. He’s proven to be unreliable. That situation could have went so much worse. He could have at least got the bear spray instead of literally securing you and two children in WITH the danger. You have to decide if you can stomach the realization your partner does NOT care about your safety in dangerous situations and will leave you behind. I certainly couldn’t stay with someone who did that. The shutting the gate would be the nail in the coffin to that relationship.
If it makes you feel better that dog would have been considered dangerous and put down either way. You defended yourself and the children from an unprovoked attack. You were so courageous and saved the kids’ lives. Be proud of yourself.
I salute you madam.
I would feel the same as you, attraction instantly gone. He ran. He didn’t try to help you or the kids that are his family. The baby literally could have died with one bite from that dog. I just wouldn’t ever be able to look at my partner again if I was you. I would feel disgusted, angry, zero attraction and no trust. There is no relationship after that.
IDK about all the people telling you to get therapy and get over it. You were in danger, two kids were in danger, and your husband didn’t just run away, he *shut you into the yard with a savage dog* to save himself.
I’m not sure how you’re supposed to trust him again in any part of your life. I’m not sure how you’re supposed to find him sexually attractive. I’m not sure how you’d happily share finances with a man who has demonstrated in practice how he’ll push you under a bus in an emergency.
Maybe that’s not a fair assessment. But I’d find it hard to ever look at him again without hearing the click of the gate as he shut it behind himself and left his wife, a 5yo, and a baby.
He ran away and SHUT THE GATE BEHIND HIM (!!!). He literally locked an extremely dangerous animal in the backyard with his wife and 2 small children. That is unforgiveable to put it mildly…I would never trust him again.
Way to go for saving those kids and yourself! You’re a literal hero! Please don’t beat yourself up about the dog’s fate, it was self-defense. That dog really needed to be euthanized since it was mentally unstable enough to attack multiple people without provocation.
This isn’t one I can defend. This was cowardice and self presentation above all else.
This is not a good man and he will have to live with that for the rest of his life.
He left you and two children to die and he’s whining at you’re not being nice? Good lord.
how did the children’s parents respond to this terrifying story?
The fact that he shut the gate is enough for divorce 100%
I don’t care if your a flight instead of fight person, when there are children and loved ones involved it doesn’t matter. It is your job to be there foe your loved ones.
I wouldn’t be able to get past this. We can quibble over how people react to emergencies and danger. But a man leaving a woman and two children to die and *locking them in* with the crazed pit bull? Human reaction or not, I wouldn’t be able to stomach looking at him.
I hope you and the kids are well. You’re a saint and an extraordinary person.
What did the kids parents say about all this!?!?
There’s no coming back from this. A partner is someone you can rely on. You’ll never feel that again with your husband.
It’s gross negligence that he would leave the baby in the bassinet and not even try and get the children to safety.
I would still speak to him before you make any decisions to try and understand his rationale but for me this would be the end of the relationship.
As someone who loves animals more than most humans, I just want to tell you how sorry I am that you had to do that. You did the right thing, but I can’t imagine the trauma and pain from having to do what you did. I’m proud of you – which is not something I thought I’d ever say about someone who beat a dog with a shovel – but you truly did what you had to do to preserve the life and safety of yourself and those kids.
I hope you are able to heal from this, and I hope you know that you are a good person.
As someone who’s small dog got attacked by pit bull god….20? years ago…yeah, 20 years next year, and I still have PTSD type feelings remembering my helpless screaming….I cannot imagine how traumatizing that must have been. I started screaming for help and the owner came out and stopped his dog. I cannot imagine having to save two tiny children, and myself, with no help. I too would never be able to forgive him. Jesus, he could have AT THE VERY LEAST have called 911. He sucks…so much.
Update us when you divorce him.
Had he run and called for help…I’d hear him out. Locking you IN with a dangerous animal is straight to jail (for me)!!!
I’ve had to beat a dog to death w/a shovel that attacked my sister: the owner watched it unfold from across the street & did NOTHING until his dog’s jaw was nearly knocked clean off his face by me & my heavy AF snow shovel (I was 14 my sis was 9). I have zero regrets because YOU DO NOT ALLOW BAD THINGS TO HAPPEN TO PEOPLE!!!! I hope you told the ILs about how cowardly your STBX was so they never leave him with those kids again.
Btw YOU ARE A HERO👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🩷🩷🩷🩷
For me, personally, I’d divorce. He’s useless. There’s no coming back from this.
This is absolutely grounds for divorce. The idea of having a partner is for them to support, protect, and value you to the best of their ability. As soon as a life or death situation arose, he immediately saved the only person he truly cares about- himself. He shut the gate behind him so the dog couldn’t chase *him*, giving no thought whatsoever as to the fact that he had closed the dog in with *you* and the fucking **CHILDREN**. Dog attacks are genuinely one of the scariest things to go through, up there with car accidents (I’m a mail carrier, trust me I know). I’m sorry you had to beat that dog nearly to death. That’s horrific.
Now you know he won’t have your back if something similar happens. He wouldn’t pull you out of a wrecked car or carry you out of a burning building. He likely wouldn’t defend you from a human attacker, if he can’t even manage to pepper spray a damn dog (which may not have stopped the attack, but would at least give you time to get into the house away from the dog). How are you supposed to feel safe when you know for a fact that he won’t protect you? Lawyer up honey.
My ex used to be extremely jealous…all in the name of “protecting” me. Against what, exactly? Then, just as in this post, a large dog attacked me on the sidewalk for no reason. Just like yours, my ex ran away to save himself. Didn’t even look back.
I didn’t look back either when I left him some months later.
I took my dogs to the dog park (before I knew how dangerous they were) and our sweet golden got attacked by 4 dogs. Nobody was getting their dog and we couldn’t pull them all off her, so my husband literally laid down on top of her to protect her from getting injured more. Your husband is not it girl.
That is absolutely unbelievable.
I’m a guy and I would die for my niece and nephew, wife/gf!
There is no coming back from this. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Take care of yourself.
He not only ran away, but locked the dog in the yard with you and the children????
I don’t care if it was a flight reaction, that’s insane behavior and I wouldn’t be able to get over it. Omg.
I get it. Fight or flight is real. Mine is freeze, and I hate it. I feel so useless, I wish I could change it or learn to do something else! However, *it doesn’t last forever.* I had a similar incident happen (although there were no children, thank goodness)! My sister was fostering a dog, that snapped and attacked her other dog. She was wrapped around one dog trying to get them to stop fighting, and do you know what I did? I froze for a second. Then I grabbed a broomstick and started hitting the attacking dog. When that didn’t work, I took a chair to them. And when that didn’t work, I wrapped myself around the other dog, she wrestled one and I wrestled the other. A godsend of a neighbor heard the commotion and the screams (sister got bit a few times unfortunately), asked if we were OK, and when we said no, dove in. He punched foster dog in the mouth so hard he broke his hand, but that was what made foster dog finally let go.
Your husband didn’t just run (flight). He ran *away,* did not grab anything to help, he didn’t come back to help, and furthermore, **he enclosed you and two children in with an attacking animal. He left you to kill, or be killed.** I would find this completely unforgivable, and yes, divorce-worthy. *You could have died,* and he just abandoned you.
OP a few years back I had to beat a pit dog with a brick to the head after it latched onto a kid in the neighborhood. Me and one other person worked together and it still took us several minutes to remove the dog and the kid sustained permanent nerve damage. I’m a dog owner and prior to that the idea of committing violence like that against an animal would have horrified me but in those moments, you’re in a race against time to help a child and you do what you need to. You’re not a bad person for protecting two innocent kids.
Your husband now, is a cowardly sack of crap. All I can think of is that mother in Tennessee who had both her children ripped in half by pitbulls and also sustained severe injuries. He didn’t just panic, he left you to potentially die in there and that’s hard to forgive. Leaving the gate open, grabbing the baby, screaming for help-all those could potentially be understandable but locking it behind him and taking off while you fought is something I’d never be able to move past
I would never come back from this, ever. I love animals too and I would’ve killed it with my hands if it attacked any of my nieces or nephews. I could never look him in the eye for abandoning me and the children. He can go to therapy by himself and recover by himself. You don’t have to get over it, sorry
The dog could have killed you.. And the 2 children. But he doesn’t like you giving him the silent treatment? I would never be able to look at that sorry excuse for a man again without complete contempt.
This loser ran off and then deliberately closed the gate behind him to trap the attacking dog in there with you and the children? WTF. You could all have easily been killed.
Get rid of this asshole. He will never have your back in any situation.
Wow, you are amazing. You managed to protect 2 kids and kill a pitbull by yourself??? You know how many grown people are attacked and severely injured/killed by pitbulls?
You confronted a dragon and won. Dragonslayer!
I imagine it must be traumatizing as hell. But never feel guilty for wanting to live.
I don’t think the relationship is salvageable. You got the ICK, it is pretty much over.
Make sure to let the kids’ parents know what he did. They need to know he is unreliable. And I bet he offered to babysit in an effort to get you to “change your mind” about kids.
I think you know it’s over.
Was it possible to know if the dog was vaccinated against rabies? If not, I would strongly suggest anybody bitten to get the rabies vaccine.
Please trust me when I say that bear spray would not have stopped the dog. I have seen people straight up stab pitbulls to stop an attack, a horse kick one in the face, someone beating it with a pole..they don’t stop. As you said they are crazed. They are in attack mode and they don’t stop until something forcibly stops them. You saved his niece, nephew and yourself. You were in a “its me or this animal” situation.
Your husband locked you in the backyard with a dog hellbent on mauling his niece to death while it attacked you to get to her. I would NEVER see him the same. I would never even be able to look him in the eye again. Literally a few posts up people are rallying around a woman who isn’t talking to her husband because he made her drive down a sketchy road alone for 2 hours when she was scared. But this is beyond the pale. I get fight or flight but that doesn’t mean you need to love someone through the realization that they will use you as a human fucking sheild to save themselves.
I wanna go full armchair psychologist and say he just revealed his true character –that when push comes to shove he will always choose himself over everyone else. He didn’t even run for a phone to call 911!! He literally just saved himself.