I am (26F) becoming self-conscious about my body, I am curvy and overweight. I’ve been told by my brother (20M) that I’ve been lied to that men prefer heavy girls.

I regularly go to the gym. I am 5’2 and weigh 154 pounds, I have a little belly I am constantly working to get rid of, while gaining more mass on my legs (glutes). I don’t know what direction to move forward in regarding my fitness goals. I was doing a lot of weight training to gain muscle in the glutes, until I started receiving comments from a lot of people saying “I should lose weight.”

Can you guys (especially men) please be honest. Do you like curvy girls? Is it a lie? Everyone around me wants me to go down to 100-110 pounds. I get fat-shamed everyday and I cannot begin to tell you how much it affects me.


22 comments

  1. Different people are attracted to different body types. For me, facial features make more of a difference than figure.

    FWIW at 100lbs you would be underweight, do whatever you want with your appearance but please prioritize your health!

  3. You’re definitely on the bigger side. I certainly prefer thin. But if you have a nice ass and nice tits with a pretty face, it’s still possible to find you attractive.

  4. Overweight can look ok, obese never does. Are there men who date obese chicks? Absolutely. Unless you’re into ‘dark and dangerous’ boys, the kind who get off on spanking you black and blue, you won’t enjoy dating them.

    You lose fat in the kitchen, the gym is for your mind. Set a calorie budget, don’t include your exercise calories for the first 2-3 weeks, then adjust as needed (if you should be losing 1lb/week, and you lose 1.5, add in some cals, if you lose .75, take some out). Throw out the first week of data because that normally has a lot of water weight being lost.

    Work on all parts of your body, not just your legs. You’d need to spend years to get a ‘big’ upper body. Your lower back will also thank you if you do core/back workouts.

  6. There is a staying that fat girls are fun to have sex with, but not to tell friends about that.

    Yes , I find curvy girls sexy, but big gf isn’t someone to be proud of.

    I don’t believe that you developed so much muscle in a gym.

    If you are muscular, that is not fat, and I don’t believe you are very muscular, because I have never seen female musculs developed without steroids/male hormons.

    If you have extra fat, than why don’t you lose some by reduced calories + cardio

  7. All of em. If it exists someone is into it.
    5’2 150lbs is fine. I’ve seen plenty who look attractive with those stats.

  8. Its hard for me to answer this question… i think all women are beautiful (until they get fat, but even then on rare occasions some will still loon great and make it work, but its extremely rare). So all of them are appealing.

    In addition to body type, I dont get why women ruin it all with excessive tattoos, piercings, unusual hair decisions (some women are fucking BEAUTIFUL completely bald, so its not like im saying dont try… just be more cautious with hair especially).

    On top of what I mentioned, how a woman presents herself, either like a bum, or with a bit of elegance can really make any woman shine.

    Its very very hard to pin it all down to just one thing.

  10. If you are worried about your weight, why not look for someone who is in the same boat? I met my current partner while I was trying to lose weight. We stopped drinking, cut out the crap food, and started working out together. Now she’s 30 pounds lighter.

  12. Your brother only knows your brothers preferences. *Some* men prefer heavy girls. There is no single body type that is appealing to all men, because we are (believe it or not) all our own individual entities, not an AI hivemind.

    I’d say that men who prefer *curvy* girls are probably the overwhelming majority though, but that entirely depends on how *you* are defining curvy. The modern body positivity movement has a lot of morbidly obese girls convinced that they’re “curvy” and that’s just plain wrong. Curvy is the “idealistic sexy body” when you think of a conventionally attractive woman that doesn’t look like half a skeleton with bones poking through her skin.

    If you’re getting fat-shamed every day, you’re probably not “curvy”.

  13. There are absolutely men who will be attracted to your body type. Not all men will be, because men are people and people have preferences. Most preferences regarding attraction and physical desirability a) occur on a spectrum (strongly like >> strongly dislike) and b) are largely intersectional 

  14. This is going to sound crazy, but different men like different things.

    But also, Rule #6: Do not make posts looking for affirmation of your appearance, personality or body features.

  15. There are men who like curvy women. I’m not one of them, but there is a vocal contingent that does. 

  16. You’re getting a lot of political non answers because a lot of these users are pussies.

    Cold hard truth is that, in the real world, being in shape will bring more attention than being overweight. I was an obese guy, then I got lean, then when I was deployed I got pretty yoked. There is a marked difference in how I was treated by women and the attention I got when I was at my peak physically.

    It’s not much different for women. Sure, there are guys who prefer chunkier women. But across a wider population you will absolutely get more attention and have more luck finding a life partner if you are in shape.

  18. >I regularly go to the gym. I am 5’2 and weigh 154 pounds, I have a little belly I am constantly working to get rid of, while gaining more mass on my legs (glutes). I don’t know what direction to move forward in regarding my fitness goals. I was doing a lot of weight training to gain muscle in the glutes, until I started receiving comments from a lot of people saying “I should lose weight.”

    Weight loss happens in the kitchen, not the gym. Obviously working out is important but you cannot out-exercise a poor diet. Recomposition of your body is almost futile if you aren’t eating right.

    Regardless – every guy has his own physical tastes in women. Some like them thick, some like them thin. But almost all of us prefer a woman who is comfortable and confident with herself.

    If you think you’d like to drop a few pounds in order to feel your best and improve your odds of meeting a guy you like, by all means focus on nutrition & keep active. At your age the weight should go fairly quickly if you commit to consistently improved eating habits & stay active

  19. I’m 5’3” 107 pounds (female) and I look deathly thin. It’s genetic, as all my siblings are underweight and my parents are also pretty skinny, but I can say it doesn’t look good.

    I could use 10-15 more pounds minimum. Being this weight doesn’t leave extra fat for any curves so I am like totally flat with bony arms and I think it just looks weird. I’ve always been trying to gain weight though.

    Don’t strive for this low of a weight!

    I’d say maybe 120-125 at 5’3” would look good on most people, and still be considered thin if that’s what you want?

  20. As long as you’re healthy, you’ll find men are attracted to you. If your weight gets to the point where it’s a serious health issue then yeah, you’re probably going to find it harder to find a partner. But if you’re just chubby, you’ll be fine as long as you’re taking care of yourself otherwise – mentally, hygiene wise, etc

  21. Td;lr – all types. Just gotta drop the toxic standards and date a guy that likes your body type.

    Here’s where men and women differ.

    Men ; they like all body types. Some men like someone heavier, others want someone slim, and everything inbetween. I legitimately have met guys that say they “don’t mind” quadriplegic amputees (take the hint, I rather not spell it out).

    Women ; far more nitpicky and have absurdly high standards which are all too often externally generated rather than it being something they truly need, more so than want.

    Here’s where it becomes a problem ; plain and simply ,as the woman, if you’re willing to drop the toxic standards and pursue the guy who’s into women of your body type and call it a day then all your problems are solved. Issue is women won’t do that. They’ll want a guy who looks like he lifts while she looks like she’s singlehandedly driving world food shortage. And AFTER by some miracle she gets a guy like that, she’ll talk about how she feels insecure or how she doesn’t like that he’s always at the gym and how other women are checking him out etc etc and want him to stay at home. Then he’ll get sloppy looking bla bla bla the cycle continues perpetually.

  22. >Everyone around me wants me to go down to 100-110 pounds. I get fat-shamed everyday and I cannot begin to tell you how much it affects me.

    Good. Free motivation. Only 40 lbs to go.

    >told by my brother (20M) that I’ve been lied to that men prefer heavy girls.

    Mostly true. There are some feeders and fetishists but the bulk of dudes singing this song are just setting the difficulty setting all the way down to fatgirl.

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