Hi everyone
Me and my boyfriend had a stupid fight. But in that fight he accused me of being the reason he has the feeling of choosing between her and me. He says (from the beginning) they are just friends. None of his other friends ever met her.
I lost a friend (know him about +20 y who died bc cancer) the day of the funeral he had his kids. I also didn't think it was the time to introduce him . But that day he made plans with this friend and told me I was being needy cause I told him not to meet that evening bc of his children (all teenagers). I'm typing this very black/white (don't want to make it too long). It really hurt me but he made time for me the next day.
I'm insecure, I know, and have to work on that. I want him to be free in meeting his friends cause that's also what I would like for myself. But the stories I heard make me more insecure. And it's hard that he told me I was needy that day. And it is hard to hear he doesn't feel he can be open to me. That he is holding back. He misses her.
What do I do? How can I make myself comfortable in my feelings with this? I don't want to push him away (even though I wish he understood the bullshit of her). Where going on a 5 day trip with his friends. How do I keep calm? What can I do or ask him to be more sure about us? I feel awful but also very lonely he doesn't understand that he really hurt me. I understand that there are 2 perspectives. What do I do? How can I make myself strong without ignoring my own feelings and not pushing him away?
Should ask for the x time I would like to meet her?