I am 20F and he is 29M, I’m in college and he’s got a career. We texted a lot, our relationship felt so different from any relationship I’ve had with family and friends.
Through text he asked me if I’m unsettled about our age difference and I said no and we proceeded to take about our feelings for each other. I enjoyed talking with him, but I’ve never been jn a relationship.
A friend told me that I should be careful of not being taken advantage of, so I’m trying to be so cautious that it wasn’t until afterwards until I realize some of my texts sounded kind of selfish and rude, like I said I’m not sure why I was attached to him(ig I wanted to sound less vulnerable).
The next day(today) we didn’t text for a whole day. I still have feelings for him and he has feelings for me. He told me he hasn’t been in a relationship for 4 years so bc he wanted a peace of mind, but at the same time he said things like he’s jealous of who I’m with or said he was afraid to initiate anything.
I want to try things out with him but unsure how to let him know I’m open to that, but I’m also unsure if I should try things out with him. How would I do that?
tl;dr this guy and I both have feelings for each other, but we’re both hesitant partly due to our age gap
2 comments
Look up a list of relationship red flags, and keep your eyes open for them.
90% of healthy, well-adjusted 29 year olds would not date a 20 year old. You’re just too different. I dated a 20yo at 24 and it was the age gap and experience gap that eventually killed us.
Usually, the 29yos who date young have some major flaw that people their own age won’t put up with, so they date less experienced people in hopes of getting a pass (rather than work on their own issues). The fact that he’s ALREADY mentioned jealousy means that’s pretty likely to be his major flaw.
It’s ok to give it a try, but know that age gaps like this have a HUGE failure rate and the chances this is going to go badly are high.
Nope nope nope. Find someone your own age.