So my bf and i have been friends for over 5 years before dating and so i can say i’ve observed his character myself over the years. He is compassionate, treats all people with respect, helpful, and converses with anyone regardless of who they are. To say the least he is friendly and kind. This is a trait i do admire about him, especially when i was his friend. Now that i’m his romantic partner i find myself becoming uncomfortable but at the same time i think social media could be a bad influence as well.
My bf made friends with a girl on a plane because they found they had mutual friends and she was traveling to china, a country he always wanted to travel to, and he thought it was so cool the idea of making friends who travel. They exchanged contact.
I was completely not okay, but that is because i felt she was not being platonic. It seemed she was flirting with him making remarks such as name calling and other flirtatious things despite him telling her about me.
When i expressed this to my bf he was completely understanding and did not invalidate me once. We agreed having opposite sex friends is okay as long as the depth of the friendship and judgement of character is good.
He expressed to me he truly didn’t have any other intentions and he knows what he wants and never wanted to talk to her for any form of motive or further relationship instead building connections and since she was friends with some of his old friends he found it okay (before i talked to him about how i felt).
Yes we talked about it and he was understanding but i know it’s still in his character to have this open mind towards people and i’m unsure how this will manifest in his actions in the future. The girl actually reached out to him to start a conversation and they did converse about china but once i expressed my discomfort he stopped. she then reached out to him a few times after and he didn’t engage.
I feel like social media sometimes makes me feel crazy because girls are not okay with their bfs even looking let alone conversing with another girl. Some even go as far to breakup with their significant other over what i had experienced.
I’ve witnessed his friendship with our friends that are girls and i have never once felt insecure or that he had any motive because i not only trust him but trust the girls because they are my friends and i know their characters. This girl however was different. He met her on a plane so of course i did not know her and in addition he seems to not have noticed her flirtatious tendencies. Does this judge his character differently than how i know he is around our friends at home?
Sometimes i’m worried if i’m being too “chill” or if this is reasonable. I believe he is genuinely a good person and is very conscious of himself, but i get scared when i see girls talk about their experiences with emotional cheating and friendliness with other girls.
I’m having trouble discerning reality from social illusions. I don’t want to be blinded by love but i also don’t want to be blinded by anxious thoughts social media makes me feel like i should have.