20’s female, who doesn’t plan on dating anytime soon; but I like to research and plan a lot/over think/have a solid plan before I attempt anything. I searched through this subreddit and another dating subreddit, and found that many people dislike “interviewing” while dating. I also searched to make sure I wasn’t repeating a past post/question on this subreddit. I tried to do a thorough search, so my apologies if I missed a similar post.
My question is: wouldn’t it be better to get the tough questions out of the way before feelings get involved? Am I wrong to understand relationships as a business transaction?(It’s the only way I can understand it, correctly). Also, do most people even care about the approach? Should I not care about how I come across to my date, if all I want is to get to the point; so I’m not wasting their time?
When I say “interview”, I do not mean: “What do you do for a living?”, nor do I plan to bombard someone at a coffee shop on the first date. I plan to wait for the 3rd/4th date, or whenever I and my date decide to go forward together.
My type of questions would be: “Would you date my sexuality, etc.?”, “How do you feel about ‘phone policies’?(I do not want one)”, “How do you feel about us going places without the other, like to a party?”, libido questions, kids, thoughts on marriage, and definitely making sure we both are looking for the same type of relationship/outcome.
So would these types of questions make the person feel like they are being interviewed? I understand that I should see if I vibe with this person, but if I see that our relationship could lead to a path of flames—I’ll thank them for their time, and end it there.
Side note: I’m sure my post sounds aggressive or something, but it’s not my intention; and I apologize for it being written as so. I just wanted to be blunt with my thoughts.