Hello everyone,
let's start with some Backgroud
We are friends for some years but I knew from day one that she has a bf. no big deal we can be friends and nothing more. However, over the years we grew closer and I started falling for her but I kept it at being friends out of respect for her relationship. I still enjoyed spending time with her and it was manageable.
Recently they had some trouble in their couple and finally broke up when she discovered he cheated on her. it's also worth mentioning she wants to travel the world and is still unsure how it will go in the near future.
The thing is I've now fallen for her. I won't make a move right now as the breakup is fresh but I find it increasingly hard and a stressfull time for me. The timing is also really bad as she will live the country in a few month for up to two years and is not sure if she will comme back to the same city.
Of course I have been supportive of her, I conforted her tourough the break I have been there for her as a friend would do. But right now I'm a wirwhill of emotions, going from feeling good and hopefull to fearing she isn't into me at all and imagining her dating other people.I know it's not healthy but my brain literally can't stop spinning for a damn minute.
She is my closer friend, I use to tell her everything but I can't obviously talk to her about that. I only told one friend that's all, I plan on telling my sister but she has weird worktime so I have to find a good time.
I just want to know if anyone has gone trough something similar and how to handle it ? I am almost certain the friendship won't survive. I don't want to be that guy that was with her waiting for my turn but honestly I have fallen for her and I know it would kill me inside to see someone I love dating someone else. I wish her the best but I don't think I will be strong enough to be by her side, at least not with these feelings.
I feel like shit saying that but we have supported and cared for each other and I plan to do that until she is better but after that I don't know how it will go.