I want to preface this by saying my boyfriend is great (for the most part).
Today we got in a really, really heated argument while drunk on a trip about 50/50 relationships.
He said that he believes that he believes that our relationship should be 70/30 and not 50/50 because he doesn’t charge me for rent, and bears most of the responsibility when it comes to “taking care of things”.
By “things”, he means planning, taking care of me & our friends, etc because I am much more of a spontaneous, happy go lucky, type B personality while he is much more type A, planned, long term thinking personality.
I asked him what he means by “having more say” and he just said that I should “fall under his umbrella and heed to what he is saying because he brings more to the table”. Which, I admit, he does because he works full time as a software engineer while I’m still a student building my life but it just feels so demeaning and dehumanizing to hear that. Like I’m cattle or something.
This whole time I thought I was balancing him out by having a fun, spontaneous personality and now I realize he probably resents me. The conversation ended with him telling me to “shut my mouth” and me telling him that “he’s not my father”.
I guess I just want advice before I book a therapy appointment.
Would you take that from a significant other given our context?
Tl;dr: boyfriend says he wants a 70/30 relationship instead of 50/50 because he says “the person with the most say bears the most responsibility” and he thinks he bears the majority of the responsibility. I feel demeaned and idk how to react.