I (25F) went to go visit an old friend of mine since elementary (25MtF) where this was the first time I got to see them after transitioning. I have not told my mom (51F) anything of their transition and still use their deadname and old pronouns in front of my family to describe them.
I did this for a couple of reasons. One, I’m not them and don’t know if they want their identity known like that. Two, my parents are transphobic.
I come home from the visit and it’s normal conversation from my mom, asking how they are, how is family was, blah blah. Kept it brief.
Then my mom mentions that she had a dream where my friend and I were riding trains together. That weirded me out because my friend and I were talking about trains and Amtrak for a solid 30 minutes. Honestly it felt like she was listening in on the conversation.
The next morning she starts asking me questions about my friend again, but this time they are more prying. Like “Does he look the same?” “Was his appearance any different/ and how so?”, “did you take pictures together?” “Can you show us a picture of him?”
She kept trying to get me to show a picture of them (to which I had none) until I eventually changed the subject on her as she scoffed under her breath.
Now I don’t know if it’s my own guilt or projection, but her questions seemed to pose like she knew something already. My question is how?
The train comment also scared me a bit. Honestly this whole situation has put me on edge a little. My mother is known to gain knowledge beforehand and ask prying questions later, but honestly how could she have learned about some of this information?
TL;DR Mom asking prying questions about an old friend of mine and feel like she’s listening in on conversations.