Edit, but this time at the top:

I dont know how you think that a, this is an excuse for you to just randomly send me unasked for pictures of your dick??? B, that women actually want to see that??? Youre disgusting, stop being a cunt.

Hi everyone!

Basically as the title says, im really really quite insiatable, and need sex at least twice a day to be relatively satisfied.

My boyfriend and I were long distance for a year and a half before just recently moving in together finally. During our long distance, we met up about 6 times for a week or so each time. During those times we had amazing sex. Hours on end, multiple, multiple times a day and it was sooo good. (On one of those trips he gave me 806 orgasms.. and yes we counted đŸ˜…đŸ€Ł)

Since we've moved in together, we are still having amazing sex.. but now it's slowed down. Not only that, but half of the time we just have quickies. I don't mind quickies, but when you're hypersexual and wait all day to finally have sex.. and get a quickie, it sucks.

I'm really big on sex whenever we want it, rather then scheduled sex.. thats not fun.. but lately our sex is, maybe in the morning, sometimes occasionally during the day, if I semi beg/heavily initiate it.. and then sometimes just before bed.

I'm leaving a lot out, but I dont really know what to say or ask I suppose? Hah

I get quite upset when he says no, or that his dick might be tender a bit from over use. I'm trying to accept it, and rely on my toys a bit more. They just don't feel as good as he does 😅

I dunno.. any advice on how to cool down my sex drive without completly losing it, or advice on how to maybe not get upset or think it's just because he doesn't want to have sex with me?

Edit: He jokingly said he doesn't think he can keep up with me, but I definitely know it wasn't a joke 😅 In his defense, he does do a good job and our sex is the best sex we have both had.

For those who might be suggesting open/poly, etc.. I am poly. I have a husband who is now my ldr. My bf is now my primary. My bf and I have decided that for the foreseeable future to pretty much be monogamous as there are so many different kinks we want to share and explore with each other. (Which we are doing btw)


8 comments

  1. it depends how much of a problem this is for you. if it’s really a problem in your relationship or with you, than you need to have a serious conversation with him

  3. You don’t need to dampen your sex drive but you do need to work on your expectations. This is a pretty common story for hyper sexual folks- the frenzy of sex that comes with new relationships feels satisfying but when you’re in a LTR eventually you have to come back to earth and real life. Remember also that when you’re long distance, all the time you DO have is generally focused just on each other. It can be real jarring when you move in together from that kind of pattern and suddenly life has to go on.

    Here are a few hints that I hope will help you both

    – get square in your mind that there is how much you would like to have sex, how much he would like to have sex, and how much your lifestyle will allow you to have sex (especially more than a quickie). These are all different frequencies and you’re kinda trying to compromise between them. Both you and your bf are going to have to find ways to compromise, and also you will both need to square that sometimes it’s a super busy day and it just won’t happen. You need to find a way to put it in your mind that it’s not his lack of interest or desire (or at least it doesn’t sound that way)- this is just adult life getting in the way.
    – scheduled sex is not bad sex! Ask the kinksters who fall in love with elaborate scenarios that simply cannot be done on the fly. The trick is generally not to schedule the individual activity but more to schedule ‘date nights’ where you will be prioritizing each other and hopefully relatively rested. The actual sex can be improvised
    – your partner is actually not responsible for your sexual satiety. You are. How were you managing between visits when you were long distance? Time to lean on those self soothing and self satisfying skills. Put some time into developing those skills so you can ‘take the edge off’.
    – find low effort ways for your partner to help you feel sated. It’s just not reasonable to expect a 2h romp in the hay after a long day of work. Can he hold you while you masturbate, assist in your self pleasure, hold a vibrator for you? Work on a repertoire of skills where you can feel the intimacy and satisfaction you need without him feeling overburdened.
    – plan vacations or long weekends (or even just a staycation) where you can get back to those super heavy sex sessions, at least for a while.
    – Disappointment will happen and that’s ok. The trick is to not let it build into resentment. It is NOT ok to whine, guilt trip, get emotional or otherwise manipulate your partner about it. Seek therapy if you need to get this down. You need to learn how to take a no kindly and roll with it. The less of a big deal the ‘no’ is, the more likely you are to get a yes.

    What you’re feeling is normal and common. It’s just the conflict of what you’d really like to be doing with the realities of adult life and living together. Find ways that are easy for him to ‘round up’ a bit and lower the stakes/broaden the definition for what sex is and you’ll be having more of it, and get square with the fact that you will regularly be compromising too and be willing to ‘round down’ and not hold it against him. Consider whether wanting this much sex is covering for another need in your life (maybe or maybe not but it’s common for hyper sexuality to be related to other unmet needs) and if so, do what you need to for that need to get met, also.

    A note on open relationships: I’m sure there will be a lot of advice to open the relationship so you can get more sex. While that CAN be a beautiful and delightful long term goal for you, if that’s the life you want, opening a relationship soon after moving in can be real destabilizing. I also suspect, op, that you throw yourself at nre and the hyper sexual phase of early/casual relationships which again is fine but probably not the thing you want to be chasing right now in life. Get you and your boyfriend settled before you consider coming back to this idea, and approach it with caution (my credentials: my relationships have all been a version of open for the last 15 years or so)

  4. These things tend to slow down over time. Otherwise couples married 20 years would all be doing it 3x a day, and I assure you, *they do not.*

    Just gotta make sure you’re relatively on the same page.

  5. May be presumptuous, but have you ever been tested for emotionally unstable disorders of any kind?

    My partner had this issue really heavy early in our relationship and once we got bipolar diagnosed and found the right treatment she really calmed down and evened out on the hypersexuality.

    Before that point she got very angry and stressed out at any hint of disinterest, rejection or lack of intimate contact

  6. Sorry I don’t have any advice, but I’m just curious how you managed to have 806 orgasms in one week long trip? I’m also a woman and can’t imagine being able to finish that many times! Were you not in pain after a certain point lol

  8. I mean, maybe this is ignorant, but get on top?

    Kinda get the feeling this would change if you we’re expending all the effort instead of your BF – just based on personal experiences.

    It’s easy to love sex multiple times a day when you can just lay there. Bit different if you’re doing the equivalent of running a 5k each time.

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