Me (19M) and my partner (19F) are both university students in STEM, which means that our workload from school is naturally at a large amount. I met my partner over Instagram in July 2023 and we've hit it off since then, and we saw ourselves being together long-term. Along the way, my partner and I have had a few compatibility issues. To name a few, she got upset when I went to hang out with a female friend even though me and my friend were on school grounds and we just went to get bubble tea. Also, my partner was afraid of the bf/gf label, so she said that she wants us to be in the talking stage (we were still exclusive though).
Despite all this, my partner and I loved each other very much. Since we are each other's first relationships, we let our relationship harm our academic performance in school. Because of this, we mutually agreed to put a greater effort into school (for grad school reasons) while balancing our relationship. At the same time, she was having problems with her ex because when they were together, he dumped her and left the country for a few months, so she asked me to help her track him down. We did, but it was on Valentine's Day so me and my partner never went on a date. Also, we never went on a date on her birthday because I had an exam to prepare for, but she told me this was okay.
Around the same time we were hunting for her ex, she tried becoming friends with this new guy who I will refer to as Adam. At first, Adam was nice to her, but then he developed feelings for her and he told her this. Regardless, my partner still tried to pursue a friendship with Adam up until the point where he ghosted her for not reciprocating romantic feelings. After that happened, my partner was constantly crying, and I was there to support her.
In June, me and my partner got into a big fight because she said that I don't make time for her. I told her that we call pretty much all day every day on Discord, and I'm always happy to study with her at school so we can be with each other. However, she said that this wasn't enough, and she broke up with me and I took her back a few hours later after she begged for me to do so. She then broke up with me again 2 weeks later because she said that I should focus on school and not her, and she said we should "take a break." I told her I didn't want this, but she insisted, and she rejected any attempts I made to hug, kiss, or tell her I loved her.
For the past 2 weeks, she started talking to Adam again and started going to his house. 2 days ago, she confessed that she's been hanging with him and been seeking attention from other people because I don't give it to her, and she doesn't want to wait until September when the new semester starts. I told her that she has been the one rejecting my advances, and if anything, she should've sat down with me so we could've worked something out. Yesterday she went to Adam's house again after him telling her that he has feelings a 2nd time, and he ended up kissing her (without her consent). Because of my partner's moral rule of dating anyone she kisses, she said that she's now obligated to date Adam for the 2 months until September and she expects me to wait for her since she dealt with a lot of compatibility issues in our past. I feel devastated and my mother and friends said I should leave the relationship, but I'm very attached because she is my first partner and I booked a restaurant for our 12-month anniversary next week. What should I do?